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My Mother who has Autism

Lottospots

Hi all,

This is a little bit of a different one (from what I can gather)…

Just a bit of background; my mother has three children from two marriages, myself (24 years old) and my sister (22 years old) from her current marriage (my farther & not autistic (and an absolute saint in my eyes!)) and a son (30) from a previous marriage. We all get on and my brother is treated as one of the family, and very rarely referred to as our ‘half’ brother.

My mother was formally diagnosed with autism a number of years back, which was not a shock to any of the family as she was (and still is) quite clearly autistic. She is 55 years old and has a brilliant sense of humour. Her talent is definitely the English language, written and spoken, and she loves maths but can struggle with it. When she is in the right mood she is absolutely wonderful to be around. She has never being an outwardly caring mother but she has done her best and we adore her for that.

We are all very sympathetic to her emotions & reactions to things and are all very understanding of her behaviour (we’ve never known anything different) but recently all of the immediate family has noticed a decline in her attitude to the world. She has become much more negative and assumes everything is against her.

She becomes obsessed with people who she thinks are ‘out to get her’ and believes everyone she works with hates her (apart from a very small group of people). But these are the same people, a number of years ago, who she was having a great time with. 

I guess my question is; how’s best to deal with this and help her?

We have tried explaining and reasoning with her (“no the government are not tracking who you are voting for, they don’t have the time or the resources” and such) but this doesn’t seem to be working. She is almost thinking herself into a deep depression and we can’t fix it.

She has also taking to becoming much more selfish that she used to be. She insists my farther should pick her above anyone else and became withdrawn when I mentioned I may be moving up north in a few years with my husband to be near his side of the family.

We just want to help her and make her feel as comfortable & safe in this loud and confusing world as possible. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Paranoia was one of my first thoughts in reading the original post. However, I also considered bullying which is very common for people with autism. It is possible that her behaviour brings out the worst in other people and they are actually being abrupt, mean, and tired of her and this is making her feel rejected and embattled. In either case, depression may also complicate her feelings.

    Diagnosis by forum is a hazardous thing though and professional help might well be sought via her GP.

    The recommended therapy for someone, particularly autistic people, struggling with their mental health is to get cognitive behavioural therapy. Autistic people often do not respond well to medication for depression as the causes of depression are less likely to be chemically based and more likely to be due to failed social interactions that have a negative impact on mood and confidence and accumulate over a period of time.

    As a separate strand of help, she may benefit from being helped/trained/educated in social skills. She may not understand what it is that she does that might offend people and it may be that she could work out different strategies for dealing with people that might improve her social interactions.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Paranoia was one of my first thoughts in reading the original post. However, I also considered bullying which is very common for people with autism. It is possible that her behaviour brings out the worst in other people and they are actually being abrupt, mean, and tired of her and this is making her feel rejected and embattled. In either case, depression may also complicate her feelings.

    Diagnosis by forum is a hazardous thing though and professional help might well be sought via her GP.

    The recommended therapy for someone, particularly autistic people, struggling with their mental health is to get cognitive behavioural therapy. Autistic people often do not respond well to medication for depression as the causes of depression are less likely to be chemically based and more likely to be due to failed social interactions that have a negative impact on mood and confidence and accumulate over a period of time.

    As a separate strand of help, she may benefit from being helped/trained/educated in social skills. She may not understand what it is that she does that might offend people and it may be that she could work out different strategies for dealing with people that might improve her social interactions.

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