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What I've learned

Lotus

When I found out a few months ago that I was almost certainly on the Autistic spectrum, I reviewed my past and determined that I'd always "run away" (as I perceived it) from uncomfortable situations and people who made me feel worthless, or tried to make me behave how they thought I should. I felt that I'd been weak, and wanted to have counselling and learn about my "condition" so that I could be stronger and stop running away from things. 

But I've found that this was the wrong way to address things (for me anyway).

I found out that CBT, which is the recommended therapy, only consists of 6 sessions, is often carried out by therapists who don't understand autism, and primarily focuses on training people not to have negative thoughts, which it is believed lead to a cycle of low self esteem, depression and anxiety disorders. I don't have a negative self image, so I didn't see how such a short course of this type of therapy could help me. 

So I struggled on, trying to be strong but unable to break out of a cycle of illness, both mental and physical, caused by stress. I read numerous books and articles about autism, and about how to understand neuro-typical behaviour, but eventually I realised that my main problems were unbearable noise nuisance at home, and that I was no longer able to cope with working full time: to cut a long story short I've moved to a different flat and have now started working part time and I'm feeling much more positive. 

I now think that although it's useful to understand myself and others better, and have strategies to get through stressful / unexpected situations, what really helps me most is being as much in control of my life as much as possible and limiting the amount of time I spend outside of my home with other people to what is comfortable for me. 

I no longer think this is weakness. Being able to identify what makes you stressed and taking action to eliminate those things from your life can be brave. It may involve taking some risks. But I think it's worth it. 

As far as I know, we only have one life and it's fairly short. We shouldn't waste time trying to fit in with other people's ideas of what is best for us. We're individuals, for whom autism is only part of what makes us what we are.  Do what you think is right for you. 

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    The DWP can be unpleasant to deal with.  My experience has been mixed: last time I had some guidance to fill in every appropriate section as extensively as possible, repeating the exact diagnosis and every effect they had on me as well as the risks that would come with poor management of my conditions, giving specific details for each question even if it meant much repetition.  Continuation sheets helped both in terms of space and allowing me to type my answers.  I included proof of diagnoses from my GP and specialists and my claim was accepted

    Previously, I hadn't answered so expansively and had sent some supporting evidence afterwards (which was conveniently "lost" by someone who never had it in the first place) and was turned down.  A combination of a prompt appeal and involving my MP sorted it out, but it was extremely stressful and unpleasant.

    It is very alarming that people are being forced through the grinder like this, though.  It shouldn't require anything more than a report from one's GP, not putting people on trial with a presumption of guilt, and if they have cause to disbelieve a doctor to take it up with them, not their patients.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    The DWP can be unpleasant to deal with.  My experience has been mixed: last time I had some guidance to fill in every appropriate section as extensively as possible, repeating the exact diagnosis and every effect they had on me as well as the risks that would come with poor management of my conditions, giving specific details for each question even if it meant much repetition.  Continuation sheets helped both in terms of space and allowing me to type my answers.  I included proof of diagnoses from my GP and specialists and my claim was accepted

    Previously, I hadn't answered so expansively and had sent some supporting evidence afterwards (which was conveniently "lost" by someone who never had it in the first place) and was turned down.  A combination of a prompt appeal and involving my MP sorted it out, but it was extremely stressful and unpleasant.

    It is very alarming that people are being forced through the grinder like this, though.  It shouldn't require anything more than a report from one's GP, not putting people on trial with a presumption of guilt, and if they have cause to disbelieve a doctor to take it up with them, not their patients.

Children
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