Emotional Intelligence

Hi, KW68 here again,

Been doing some thinking and I have been coming back to the idea of emotional intelligence, and how basically this is something that those with an ASD struggle with.

I am not sure whether the issues I used to have with my spouse being upset & my not offering her empathy is a signal of that lack of emotional intelligence, of not being able to tell what to do in such situations (other than to kind of think "I hope she'll get over it"). When she used to ask if I loved her I'd get rather flustered, point to the fact that I was with her, that I did things to care for her, were my response, but I never ever thought to just say "I love you" in response. I can't tell if it was just that I didn't love her, or just couldn't express it.

Does anyone else here have similar experiences of just wishing that emotional conversations didn't surface, of not knowing what to say or do in response?

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My other half tried mindfulness and had some success with it, but my head is just too full of noise for me to have ever got anywhere: it seems the calmer I try to be, the worse the noise gets, though that's apparently a known thing with ADD.

    I think I am reasonably okay with empathy, kinda; well, I'm good at putting myself in others' positions, even when "other" is an inanimate object, though I can occasionally be a bit hit-and-miss about expressing it.  And there's often an amount of bidirectional misunderstanding, because life would be less interesting without it, apparently.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    My other half tried mindfulness and had some success with it, but my head is just too full of noise for me to have ever got anywhere: it seems the calmer I try to be, the worse the noise gets, though that's apparently a known thing with ADD.

    I think I am reasonably okay with empathy, kinda; well, I'm good at putting myself in others' positions, even when "other" is an inanimate object, though I can occasionally be a bit hit-and-miss about expressing it.  And there's often an amount of bidirectional misunderstanding, because life would be less interesting without it, apparently.

Children
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