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Emotional Intelligence

KeyboardWorrier68

Hi, KW68 here again,

Been doing some thinking and I have been coming back to the idea of emotional intelligence, and how basically this is something that those with an ASD struggle with.

I am not sure whether the issues I used to have with my spouse being upset & my not offering her empathy is a signal of that lack of emotional intelligence, of not being able to tell what to do in such situations (other than to kind of think "I hope she'll get over it"). When she used to ask if I loved her I'd get rather flustered, point to the fact that I was with her, that I did things to care for her, were my response, but I never ever thought to just say "I love you" in response. I can't tell if it was just that I didn't love her, or just couldn't express it.

Does anyone else here have similar experiences of just wishing that emotional conversations didn't surface, of not knowing what to say or do in response?

Parents

  • I don't have a problem saying "I love you"  to my partner, but I can identify with not liking "emotional" conversations. 

    If I start to get emotional I find the emotions difficult to switch off again, so that's why I prefer to stick to "non emotional" discussion. As I'm female, it's more acceptable in society to cry than if I was male, but it's still horrible for me.

    I wish I could be a vulcan like in star trek and be able to not show emotions. If people were accepting of it like in star trek too,  it would make life so much easier. Problem is, we don't look different on the outside, so people expect us to be the same as them in behaviour too. Perhaps it would be easier if we were all born with pointy ears.

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  • I don't have a problem saying "I love you"  to my partner, but I can identify with not liking "emotional" conversations. 

    If I start to get emotional I find the emotions difficult to switch off again, so that's why I prefer to stick to "non emotional" discussion. As I'm female, it's more acceptable in society to cry than if I was male, but it's still horrible for me.

    I wish I could be a vulcan like in star trek and be able to not show emotions. If people were accepting of it like in star trek too,  it would make life so much easier. Problem is, we don't look different on the outside, so people expect us to be the same as them in behaviour too. Perhaps it would be easier if we were all born with pointy ears.

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