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Emotional Intelligence

KeyboardWorrier68

Hi, KW68 here again,

Been doing some thinking and I have been coming back to the idea of emotional intelligence, and how basically this is something that those with an ASD struggle with.

I am not sure whether the issues I used to have with my spouse being upset & my not offering her empathy is a signal of that lack of emotional intelligence, of not being able to tell what to do in such situations (other than to kind of think "I hope she'll get over it"). When she used to ask if I loved her I'd get rather flustered, point to the fact that I was with her, that I did things to care for her, were my response, but I never ever thought to just say "I love you" in response. I can't tell if it was just that I didn't love her, or just couldn't express it.

Does anyone else here have similar experiences of just wishing that emotional conversations didn't surface, of not knowing what to say or do in response?

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    KeyboardWorrier68 said:

    I am not sure whether the issues I used to have with my spouse being upset & my not offering her empathy is a signal of that lack of emotional intelligence,

    Not detecting emotions and not responding to others' emotional needs is the lack of empathy that afflicts people with autism. We still have emotions and can feel sympathy for others' plight. The two words are closely related and, I think it is a particular problem for autistic people that we struggle to differentiate the two.

    I think Spock would say that Love is illogical! Actually I think we are too emotionally drained and distressed most of the time to recognise love. Expressing the words is also difficult because we are not good at looking people in the eye and talking about emotions. If you look at someone's shoes and mumble "I love you" it isn't going to sound very convincing is it?

  • in reply to Former Member

    There's a big difference in responding to other people's "emotional needs" and other people's emotional reactions.  Hate; lack of understanding for the needs of the Autistic person; angry responses to them like oppressive tactics etc are also a show of lack of emotional intellgence.

    I would say it is wrong to say people on  the Autism spectrum lack empathy; because it suggests they are not  human, such line of thinking can lead to oppressive behaviours and lack of empathy toward people on the spectrum.  To the point where their rights can be incringed upon.

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  • in reply to Former Member

    There's a big difference in responding to other people's "emotional needs" and other people's emotional reactions.  Hate; lack of understanding for the needs of the Autistic person; angry responses to them like oppressive tactics etc are also a show of lack of emotional intellgence.

    I would say it is wrong to say people on  the Autism spectrum lack empathy; because it suggests they are not  human, such line of thinking can lead to oppressive behaviours and lack of empathy toward people on the spectrum.  To the point where their rights can be incringed upon.

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