I recently went through two extreme social weeks which kind of made me wonder if individuals on the spectrum have similiar experiences. Firstly I should just say that I have not been diagnosed but am currently pondering whether I should.
The first was a realisation of how different I feel when I am on my own or just with my wife, in contrast to being around many people. This dawned on me during a weeks holiday in contrast to being at work. The thing I noticed is how less tired and more energy I had when I was around less people. As soon as I returned to work, I felt drained and lifeless again. It amuses me as I actually do more exercise etc. whilst on holiday. The difference is quite profound. It might be a reduction of work stress, I realise that, but I am interested if anybody has any thoughts, especially if this sort of change is noticeable by people with autism.
Secondly, for work I recently had to propmote what my department does at a sales conference. This involved talking to individuals throughout the day about what my company does and our role within it. I think I spoke to about 50 people in total. I found the whole experience horrific. It was just exhausting and I felt panic all the way through, in case I was saying the wrong thing. However, my work peers on stalls around me all told me afterwards that I was doing a great job. It certainly felt the opposite to this. This leads to me feeling confused. How can I come across so well but feel such a failure about it? I have done talks and presentations before where you stand in front of a crowd and present, but that is different somehow to this. It is like the crowd is a single entity whereas this one to one is much trickier.
Anybody else had similiar experiences? Thank you....
