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Intense eye contact

westie
over 8 years ago

Hi. I work with an adult who has aspergers, as his support worker at HE college. We get along very well and i have worked with other ASD students in the past, but i've never known the amount of eye contact he gives me, in any of my past students. He really looks deep into my eyes when he is talking to me and never breaks it when i talk back to him. He also frequently looks at my mouth and then back up to my eyes when im talking back to him. He totally zoned in on my mouth the other day amd parted his lips whilst doing so. If i didn't know any better....well, you know where i'm going with my thoughts on this. I know ive gone into facial cues / body language descriptions in detsil, but i do need some answers re this. We are both adults, but does all this mean he has a crush on me? Id like some answers if anyone has any.

Thanks

Parents
  • over 7 years ago

    I do the intense eye-contact thing. I also switch between eyes and mouth.

    I do intense eye contact because that's my only method of "connecting" with someone, because the eyes are a personal, intimate space into someone's head. Conversation is a concious act - meaning that my subconcious doesn't process conversation like a neurotypical's brain would, I have to hear the words and think about them as a concious act, before I can then form a response and check it's correct - so I focus on the eyes because I need to mentally focus and concentrate whilst someone is talking to me.

    I also switch down to the lips for redundancy - getting the same message through multiple channels to make sure I get it all, lipreading as well as hearing the words. It's all about focussing intently so I can get all the information they are giving me, as they are giving it to me.

    Hope that's helped with the 'science' of your question.

  • 11 months ago in reply to seekeraftertruth

    I am similar to the post above. In fact, some NT people have told me my eye contact is "too intense", but I also switch between eyes and mouth (I'm also half deaf in one ear). If a person talks to me, but I can't see their face, I don't 'hear' them. Sometimes when I realize I'm staring at a person and realize it, I have difficulty with which eye to follow and often switch back and forth for a few seconds, then look away. I will also mention that as a females, NT men often interpret my direct eye contact as a signal that I am interested in them. I'm not, but that's how they think. And I have been told I make other women (nt) nervous. This was all stressful when I was in academia.

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  • 11 months ago in reply to seekeraftertruth

    I am similar to the post above. In fact, some NT people have told me my eye contact is "too intense", but I also switch between eyes and mouth (I'm also half deaf in one ear). If a person talks to me, but I can't see their face, I don't 'hear' them. Sometimes when I realize I'm staring at a person and realize it, I have difficulty with which eye to follow and often switch back and forth for a few seconds, then look away. I will also mention that as a females, NT men often interpret my direct eye contact as a signal that I am interested in them. I'm not, but that's how they think. And I have been told I make other women (nt) nervous. This was all stressful when I was in academia.

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