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A bit lost

vanIII

I have been dealing with aspergers for most of my life, undiagnosed (came close 8 years ago, but an unhelpful medical professional tore up my assessment documentation and told me there is no such thing and I am a perfectly fine young man; after reflection over many years this was a mistake).

I have reached a piont were I do not know what to do.

I have angled my life so I can work from home. My wife understands me very well and is supportive. 

But, it is becoming a struggle to maintain appearances to my clients.  I am severely literal, and find it exhausting to understand the subtext and pleasantries in business interaction.

Any advice, and coping stratigies would be welcome.

Most recent incident was a joke said by an absent minded support staff-worker, which cause quite a costly mistake in a recent event. This type of thing cannot continue.

Please help.

Parents

  • Hi vanlll,

    I posted a reply a couple of days ago but it was deleted for some reason. I thought it might help to tell you how I deal with similar situations to yours. I also work mostly from home but have to go and meet clients from time to time.

    When you say you have trouble maintaining appearances, are you trying to appear to be more 'normal', i.e. more neurotypical than you are? This is what I always felt I had to do.

    One of my coping strategies is not to engage socially with other people at all, just to focus on work. I only deal with one person at a time, just parrot a few social pleasantries to start with and leave as soon as I am finished. I'm never rude and always treat everyone with respect, but expect them to take me as I am and treat me the same way.

    I realised many years ago that no matter how hard I try, I'll never fit in socially. By just being myself, I have more confidence and less anxiety as I know I'll never get drawn into a social situation I just won't understand.

Reply

  • Hi vanlll,

    I posted a reply a couple of days ago but it was deleted for some reason. I thought it might help to tell you how I deal with similar situations to yours. I also work mostly from home but have to go and meet clients from time to time.

    When you say you have trouble maintaining appearances, are you trying to appear to be more 'normal', i.e. more neurotypical than you are? This is what I always felt I had to do.

    One of my coping strategies is not to engage socially with other people at all, just to focus on work. I only deal with one person at a time, just parrot a few social pleasantries to start with and leave as soon as I am finished. I'm never rude and always treat everyone with respect, but expect them to take me as I am and treat me the same way.

    I realised many years ago that no matter how hard I try, I'll never fit in socially. By just being myself, I have more confidence and less anxiety as I know I'll never get drawn into a social situation I just won't understand.

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