A bit lost

I have been watching is from a distance and would like to say thank you for the replies, they will prove useful.

There was a malicious attack on this site which cuased a number of posts to be lost in the server rollback.

Any other tips and advice will be helpful.

Many thanks.

You have to wonder how many diagnosis are not offered due to the difficulty of unravelling other conditions from Aspergers that present similar symptoms. I guess it's a bit like refereeing a football match. The referee won't give a penealty unless he/she is sure enough they have seen a clear infringement made because such a serious decision would probably have a powerful impact on the outcome of the game. Of course, as we know, there are many times when the referee has been in error due to the benefits of the 'action replay' and this isn't the fault of the referee but the fault of the analysis process in place. I kind of releate this to things like Aspergers because when someone turns up for a diagnosis the diagnostician will look for clear signs of Aspergers and if they are not clear-cut enough some of them will be tempted to dismiss the patient for several reasons. One reason is that if they judge a person to be high functioning enough to be able to cope with life without the aid of a service that is already seriously underfunded, and may not be required anyway if the person turns out not to be on the spectrum, they will dismiss the case.

Another reason would be that there are many conditions that can initially be mistaken for Aspergers and a particular doctor might assume they can clearly see an alternative explanation for the symptoms the patient is experiencing. I think this is where stereotyping can be a danger because, after all, GP's are only human and can sometimes have a tendency to stereotype people without really taking the trouble to look into the case a little deeper. To be fair, GP's must see a lot of patients who are, in fact, suffering from mental disorders that have nothing to do with Aspergers and the work load of many GP's nowadays is such they that simply do not have the time to properly investigate every case, so we have to be a bit realistic here.

From the little I know about seeking a diagnosis for Aspergers it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to obtain one and I do wonder whether this is meant to be the case in order to 'prove' that people are really genuine or not. The trouble is, this can leave people clueless about what to do next and if they are not in a position to go private they are forced to struggle on without the benefit of actually knowing what is at the root of their problems. As we know, there are many conditions that do clear up in time by themselves but in the case of Aspergers, it is for life, and without obtaining a confirmation of the condition individuals will flounder from one crisis to another without being in a position to manage it. The problem is, I can only see things becoming worse because the medical services in this country seem to be deteriorating as time goes by and I fear there will remain many individuals who are suffering from Aspergers that will never be identified, resulting in much suffering.

Don't get me wrong. Aspies have many strengths as well as diffculties but at least when you know what kind of person you are and what makes you tick you are in a position to make the most of the particular way your brain is wired. Self knowledge is power and no doubt this is why people seek an official diagnoses, and quite right too.

Hi vanlll,

I posted a reply a couple of days ago but it was deleted for some reason. I thought it might help to tell you how I deal with similar situations to yours. I also work mostly from home but have to go and meet clients from time to time.

When you say you have trouble maintaining appearances, are you trying to appear to be more 'normal', i.e. more neurotypical than you are? This is what I always felt I had to do.

One of my coping strategies is not to engage socially with other people at all, just to focus on work. I only deal with one person at a time, just parrot a few social pleasantries to start with and leave as soon as I am finished. I'm never rude and always treat everyone with respect, but expect them to take me as I am and treat me the same way.

I realised many years ago that no matter how hard I try, I'll never fit in socially. By just being myself, I have more confidence and less anxiety as I know I'll never get drawn into a social situation I just won't understand.

Hi vanIII, welcome!

Agreeing tasks in writing can sometimes avoid these issues. This can be relatively informal, by email etc, or there are systems for task management and collaboration (e.g. Jira or team foundation services) that enable priority lists to be available to all interested parties.

A diagnosis can be useful but you may find little benefit in terms of services from NHS etc if you are functioning relatively well. It depends on your local mental health services as to whether they have setup any services for autistic adults. This forum can be good - there is a lot of knowledge and experience captured in old threads.