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Do I have Autism?

Tulip52

Hello I have just joined the site, i am 52 years of age and think I may have autism. Last week I had a melt down! I was due to go on holiday. The night before I took my dog to the boarding kennels and broke my heart and was unconsolable! I didn't go on my holiday that I had so been looking forward to. This brought on a conversation with a collegue who discretky mentioned autism. I looked up on this and everything started to fall into place. Briefly my childhood was sad, traumatic and emotional. I spent some time I don't know how long, in foster care and a childrens home with my brother. I don't remember much of my childhood. during my teenage years I was disruptive at school, spent a lot of time on my own, played truant. I refused to go to school for my mum for approx 3 months when I was about 14 years. I wasn't naughty but stayed at gone tidying up . I recall constantly washing my hands for a period. I had an image and a weird sensation of sleeping on boards, and can sometimes occasionally experience this now. I cut all my hair off to be like the boys! I left school with 2 gcse's, knowing I could have done better and regretted it. I worked hard, always wanting to do a perfect job. I seemed to learn What people expected of me. I became promiscuous, thinking that this was the only way I could be close to someone. I could not recognise when someone truly liked me. I was often on my own. I went from one job to another! Continueing to live a destructive life but always in employment. In alcohol I would break my heart crying in public and could become angry in alahol. I have struggled with depression, low self esteem, obsessive thoughts all my life. Struggled to cope with demands and changes in my life and unexpected occurrences. I am articulate, very caring and supportive. My head feels full! Foggy! My memory is poor and I struggle to retain information! I have highs and lows and cannot hide my emotions. I have never married and had no children. I have few friends and most of my relationships with men have been based around sex. It's as though this is what is exoected of me. I went to see my doctor yesterday, she was very supportive and is going to refer me to the mental health team. However, I am concerned that they will dismiss me as they have in the past. Something is not right! Why do I feel different? I am a strong minded person. What do you think From reading this? I would appreciate your advice. Many thanks 

Parents

  • Hi Tulip, being autistic is about having difficulties of a significant nature across a range of areas: communication, imagination and interaction. As your description above does not cover all of these areas and their impact on yourself, it would be impossible for someone to say (and it would be very difficult / impossible to diagnose someone without actually meeting and interacting with them). Having said that, if you feel you might be autistic it is a good idea to seek an assessment as it could help you gain more understanding and acceptance of yourself.

    Another thing to bear in mind is that early life experiences could cause some of the difficulties that can alsoappear in autism (e.g. anxiety, or fear of change or separation) so the diagnostic team would need to feel certain that your difficulties are due to autism and not an effect of abuse/life experiences - this can be a difficult thing for professionals to judge. It can be done, though - I presented with an unusual childhood and range of difficulties and I was diagnosed (quite highly on the ADOS) so just make sure you present all the facts without hiding anything and you should get an accurate decision. 

    I hope this helps. 

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  • Hi Tulip, being autistic is about having difficulties of a significant nature across a range of areas: communication, imagination and interaction. As your description above does not cover all of these areas and their impact on yourself, it would be impossible for someone to say (and it would be very difficult / impossible to diagnose someone without actually meeting and interacting with them). Having said that, if you feel you might be autistic it is a good idea to seek an assessment as it could help you gain more understanding and acceptance of yourself.

    Another thing to bear in mind is that early life experiences could cause some of the difficulties that can alsoappear in autism (e.g. anxiety, or fear of change or separation) so the diagnostic team would need to feel certain that your difficulties are due to autism and not an effect of abuse/life experiences - this can be a difficult thing for professionals to judge. It can be done, though - I presented with an unusual childhood and range of difficulties and I was diagnosed (quite highly on the ADOS) so just make sure you present all the facts without hiding anything and you should get an accurate decision. 

    I hope this helps. 

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