Marriages and partnerships

The standard course, or dose, of CBT treatment is 6 sessions. Sometimes this is understood to mean that you can only get 6 sessions but what it should mean is that the GP should review the success of the process after 6 sessions and the GP can then

a) refer again if some progress was being made,

b) stop because no progress is being made. (you cannot force people to get the benefit of CBT, there has to be will and capability on the patient's side)

c) stop because the problem has been resolved

Of course, people see that this is expensive and that the counsellors are a scarce resource so people get the idea that you only get one go at it. It is not as simple as that. I was speaking to a counsellor last week who was in the habit of resolving people's issues in 6 sessions to the point where they do not need further sessions for the immediate future.

Pixiefox raises the question about whether the partner is on the spectrum - this is possible but I don't think it is related to the difficulty in forgetting the past. I, on the spectrum, am much more willing to let bygones be bygones but my wife has a greater ability to remember past issues. Perhaps women feel the slights of past mis-steps more keenly than men who have thicker skins? Perhaps BJBP doesn't realise the impact of some of the things he has done because an autistic person would struggle with these things. People must be able to forgive and forget in any relationship but this is particularly true where an autistic person is involved because that person is bound to say or do the wrong thing from time to time. If there is no give and take then the relationship won't thrive and this is an area where relationship counselling may be able to move things on. Autistic people are at a disadvantage in situations like this because we struggle to get ourpoints across - it may be necessary to draft in help from outside to help because otherwise the option of always giving in will destroy the relationship.

The standard course, or dose, of CBT treatment is 6 sessions. Sometimes this is understood to mean that you can only get 6 sessions but what it should mean is that the GP should review the success of the process after 6 sessions and the GP can then

a) refer again if some progress was being made,

b) stop because no progress is being made. (you cannot force people to get the benefit of CBT, there has to be will and capability on the patient's side)

c) stop because the problem has been resolved

Of course, people see that this is expensive and that the counsellors are a scarce resource so people get the idea that you only get one go at it. It is not as simple as that. I was speaking to a counsellor last week who was in the habit of resolving people's issues in 6 sessions to the point where they do not need further sessions for the immediate future.

Pixiefox raises the question about whether the partner is on the spectrum - this is possible but I don't think it is related to the difficulty in forgetting the past. I, on the spectrum, am much more willing to let bygones be bygones but my wife has a greater ability to remember past issues. Perhaps women feel the slights of past mis-steps more keenly than men who have thicker skins? Perhaps BJBP doesn't realise the impact of some of the things he has done because an autistic person would struggle with these things. People must be able to forgive and forget in any relationship but this is particularly true where an autistic person is involved because that person is bound to say or do the wrong thing from time to time. If there is no give and take then the relationship won't thrive and this is an area where relationship counselling may be able to move things on. Autistic people are at a disadvantage in situations like this because we struggle to get ourpoints across - it may be necessary to draft in help from outside to help because otherwise the option of always giving in will destroy the relationship.