Trying to understand?

All of the stuff you have listed below is him, it's like you know him. I never forced him to go to any clubs or pubs and totally understood. 

I can't understand how he can hold so many amazing friendships, but not a relationship? He keeps telling me that I can do better and im worth more, like he doesn't understand how amazing he actually is? If anybody was punching above their weight it was me. 

He will not talk about any emotions or anything, that was one of the things I liked about him, however it is now proving difficult now we are going through a break up.

I do not suffer from Autism myself and he keeps telling me I will never understand his mind, but if he doesn't talk to me how am I meant to? 

I just want to help him because he doesn't come from a stable/supportive family, I feel like he has no one and that kills me? 

Thanks for your reply. 

T

All of the stuff you have listed below is him, it's like you know him. I never forced him to go to any clubs or pubs and totally understood. 

I can't understand how he can hold so many amazing friendships, but not a relationship? He keeps telling me that I can do better and im worth more, like he doesn't understand how amazing he actually is? If anybody was punching above their weight it was me. 

He will not talk about any emotions or anything, that was one of the things I liked about him, however it is now proving difficult now we are going through a break up.

I do not suffer from Autism myself and he keeps telling me I will never understand his mind, but if he doesn't talk to me how am I meant to? 

I just want to help him because he doesn't come from a stable/supportive family, I feel like he has no one and that kills me? 

Thanks for your reply. 

T

Hi

Did you ask him how his autism makes it difficult for him to have a relationship?

ASD people are not all the same, so I can't tell you what was causing difficulties for him. The main problems are usually with communication, social interaction and imagination. He may have difficulty talking about emotions and be uncomfortable if encouraged to express himself in those terms but feel it is expected of him in a "romantic" relationship. He may become anxious when surrounded by lots of people and noise, and find it daunting to take you out to bars, concerts, restaurants, etc. He may also find it difficult to imagine that someone does really care about him. 

ASD people have often been bullied at some point and often have low self esteem, so he could find it difficult to trust anyone or believe that someone thinks he is great, and might suffer jealousy if his partner appears to also be close to someone else. 

If you want to try rebuilding your relationship, I would suggest that for now you arrange to speak to him face to face only in a place where he feels safe and secure, and reassure him that you really care about him. Keep in touch by email or text when not seeing him face to face and try to keep positive in your message content, slipping in comments which show you recognise and appreciate his good points, but don't make it up - it must be things he will recognise in himself. For example, if he is always on time when meeting you, tell him how much you appreciate his courtesy in not keeping you waiting around. 

Good luck and I hope things work out well.