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Trying to understand?

Tryingtounderstand

Hi. I recently met my now ex partner on a dating site, we met up and the realtionship went really well, he told me he had austism which didnt bother me, it made him him! Yesterday I received a text message telling me he didnt want the relationship, i thought fine,  after 6 months i want an explation, we met up & he explained that he is still in love with me but the austism is stopping his ability to be in a relationship, we have agreed  stay friends however I need to understand? I'm hoping someone can shed some light on this situation for me? 

Thanks T

Parents

  • I don't know what being lost in the system for years actually means? 

    When a relationship gets to the situation you've described, you can find yourselves going round in circles talking (or shouting, or sulking) about things and not getting anywhere. I find it can be better to try to "wipe the slate clean" - put what has happened to the back of your mind and focus on how you would like things to be and come up with a plan of action to get you to that point. This might involve moving to a new home, getting a new job, learning a new skill, travelling to somewhere you've always wanted to visit, etc. This gives you something to focus on and look forward to - maybe you could suggest this to him and discuss what you both want to do with your lives? 

    You need to look after yourself too. Do you tell him how unhappy it makes you when things aren't going well between you?  Do you think it might be that he thinks you're stronger than you actually are and you don't need him? Maybe you should ask him for help and support? You should also talk to someone outside of the relationship that you trust - your mum or a good friend maybe - to help you get things out of your system. 

    Take care,  Pixie 

Reply

  • I don't know what being lost in the system for years actually means? 

    When a relationship gets to the situation you've described, you can find yourselves going round in circles talking (or shouting, or sulking) about things and not getting anywhere. I find it can be better to try to "wipe the slate clean" - put what has happened to the back of your mind and focus on how you would like things to be and come up with a plan of action to get you to that point. This might involve moving to a new home, getting a new job, learning a new skill, travelling to somewhere you've always wanted to visit, etc. This gives you something to focus on and look forward to - maybe you could suggest this to him and discuss what you both want to do with your lives? 

    You need to look after yourself too. Do you tell him how unhappy it makes you when things aren't going well between you?  Do you think it might be that he thinks you're stronger than you actually are and you don't need him? Maybe you should ask him for help and support? You should also talk to someone outside of the relationship that you trust - your mum or a good friend maybe - to help you get things out of your system. 

    Take care,  Pixie 

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