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Trying to understand?

Tryingtounderstand

Hi. I recently met my now ex partner on a dating site, we met up and the realtionship went really well, he told me he had austism which didnt bother me, it made him him! Yesterday I received a text message telling me he didnt want the relationship, i thought fine,  after 6 months i want an explation, we met up & he explained that he is still in love with me but the austism is stopping his ability to be in a relationship, we have agreed  stay friends however I need to understand? I'm hoping someone can shed some light on this situation for me? 

Thanks T

Parents

  • I'm glad what I've said has been of some help to you.

    Regarding your mum contacting him, if she leaves it a few days to let him think about things first I think that would be OK, but I would think it might be better for her to text him rather than try to ring him - if he's feeling a bit guilty about trying to end your relationship, he might worry about what she's going to say and not answer her call. A text message will give her the chance to communicate and him the chance to read and think about what she says. It may help him to realise that she cares about him and she's not just going to take your side (which I'm assuming she won't)

    I'm wondering that if you were totally neuro-typical maybe you would just walk away - I'm not sure about this, however I was wondering if you have ever taken the AQ test to see if you have some aspergers/autism traits? Females often don't get diagnosed because they learn to mimic neurotypical behaviour. You could also look at the website of Tania A Marshall too, who is a psychologist currently compiling a list of female asperger traits, to see if you identify with any of them. Let me know if you're interested and I can post the links.

Reply

  • I'm glad what I've said has been of some help to you.

    Regarding your mum contacting him, if she leaves it a few days to let him think about things first I think that would be OK, but I would think it might be better for her to text him rather than try to ring him - if he's feeling a bit guilty about trying to end your relationship, he might worry about what she's going to say and not answer her call. A text message will give her the chance to communicate and him the chance to read and think about what she says. It may help him to realise that she cares about him and she's not just going to take your side (which I'm assuming she won't)

    I'm wondering that if you were totally neuro-typical maybe you would just walk away - I'm not sure about this, however I was wondering if you have ever taken the AQ test to see if you have some aspergers/autism traits? Females often don't get diagnosed because they learn to mimic neurotypical behaviour. You could also look at the website of Tania A Marshall too, who is a psychologist currently compiling a list of female asperger traits, to see if you identify with any of them. Let me know if you're interested and I can post the links.

Children
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