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Trying to understand?

Tryingtounderstand

Hi. I recently met my now ex partner on a dating site, we met up and the realtionship went really well, he told me he had austism which didnt bother me, it made him him! Yesterday I received a text message telling me he didnt want the relationship, i thought fine,  after 6 months i want an explation, we met up & he explained that he is still in love with me but the austism is stopping his ability to be in a relationship, we have agreed  stay friends however I need to understand? I'm hoping someone can shed some light on this situation for me? 

Thanks T

Parents

  • Hi T

    Clovis said "He may still love you but he has said he doesn't want to be with you. Thats hard to bear but he's an intelligent adult and has made his decision."

    I understand the reasoning in this statement, however I don't remember you saying that he had actually said he doesn't want to be with you? Didn't he say that his autism makes a relationship difficult for him and that he thinks you'll leave him at some point in the future if he doesn't finish it now? Maybe he really means he loves you so much he's terrified of losing you, but having convinced himself this is going to happen it's easier for him if he has control over when it happens? 

    I don't believe someone with Autism or aspergers falls deeply in love with someone and then just suddenly falls out of love with them. We're obsessives, for goodness sake! 

    You deserve an answer about what is going on - whether he has autism or not is irrelevant to that. 

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  • Hi T

    Clovis said "He may still love you but he has said he doesn't want to be with you. Thats hard to bear but he's an intelligent adult and has made his decision."

    I understand the reasoning in this statement, however I don't remember you saying that he had actually said he doesn't want to be with you? Didn't he say that his autism makes a relationship difficult for him and that he thinks you'll leave him at some point in the future if he doesn't finish it now? Maybe he really means he loves you so much he's terrified of losing you, but having convinced himself this is going to happen it's easier for him if he has control over when it happens? 

    I don't believe someone with Autism or aspergers falls deeply in love with someone and then just suddenly falls out of love with them. We're obsessives, for goodness sake! 

    You deserve an answer about what is going on - whether he has autism or not is irrelevant to that. 

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