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Trying to understand?

Tryingtounderstand

Hi. I recently met my now ex partner on a dating site, we met up and the realtionship went really well, he told me he had austism which didnt bother me, it made him him! Yesterday I received a text message telling me he didnt want the relationship, i thought fine,  after 6 months i want an explation, we met up & he explained that he is still in love with me but the austism is stopping his ability to be in a relationship, we have agreed  stay friends however I need to understand? I'm hoping someone can shed some light on this situation for me? 

Thanks T

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  • Tryingtounderstand said:

    He used to tell me he misses people for like a day then gets over it, is this correct?

    I came across Alexithemia recently. It's related to problems with recognising and expressing feelings. I read something someone had written about not missing people, that I could relate to. This may not be relavant to your situation, but it shows that people do experience the problem. I can spend time with someone I like, but when it's time to move on (maybe after spending time together, or due to a change in circumstances), I don't stay in touch. I don't forget the person, but it's as though they're not part of my life any more. There's nothing that drives me to stay in touch, and I'm often not sure if they'd like me to stay in touch, so I don't even send an occasional text to say hello, or a Christmas card. But if they get in touch with me, and want to make an effort to meet up, I'd be happy to do it, and pick up where we left off. I'm sure that I have feelings I'm not aware of, so maybe somewhere deep inside I do miss them, but I don't seem to feel it.

    So I'd say that what you asked could be correct, or at least seem to him to be correct.

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  • Tryingtounderstand said:

    He used to tell me he misses people for like a day then gets over it, is this correct?

    I came across Alexithemia recently. It's related to problems with recognising and expressing feelings. I read something someone had written about not missing people, that I could relate to. This may not be relavant to your situation, but it shows that people do experience the problem. I can spend time with someone I like, but when it's time to move on (maybe after spending time together, or due to a change in circumstances), I don't stay in touch. I don't forget the person, but it's as though they're not part of my life any more. There's nothing that drives me to stay in touch, and I'm often not sure if they'd like me to stay in touch, so I don't even send an occasional text to say hello, or a Christmas card. But if they get in touch with me, and want to make an effort to meet up, I'd be happy to do it, and pick up where we left off. I'm sure that I have feelings I'm not aware of, so maybe somewhere deep inside I do miss them, but I don't seem to feel it.

    So I'd say that what you asked could be correct, or at least seem to him to be correct.

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