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Another bad day 2

random

Really low at the moment, just had one of those days where everything goes wrong, I just get so scared to do anything for another thing to go wrong what ever I try. Was a work social lunch, had a really hard time, and just wanted to sit somewhere else and eat my meal because people talking while they are eating just really sets my anxiety sky high, much worse than it had been. The pub got unusually busy, and I tried to sit at another table, but just got groups of people crowd around you

Tried to settle in to work in the afternoon, but my computer and computer I need to work on just ground to a halt, and spend hours just waiting for it to come back on line. Office is very quiet and it just go too much so started swearing in frustration.

Near the end of the working day, I discovered a music event I had been waiting for a couple of years, tickets already sold out. Really angry, was on the mailing list, just angry why they didn't announce it on the official mailing list, that is why I signed up for it.

Just coulldn't settle down, then discover another lecture event where tickets only went on sale Today, and, you guess it, sold out. And again, I signed up to the mailing list for these events.

Went to my first post dignostic support meeting yesterday, and found it very difficult, takes a lot out of you. Have been desperate for some counsueling support, but still waiting, hearing nothing.

On top of that, I have got a meeting next Tuesday at work to let line managers know, I was pushed in to having the meeting. Talked at length to one of the directors, who offered to write out an outline of what the line managers need to know. Haven't heard from him, and I expect the meeting will just go ahead, wiith me just dumped in to dealing with all of it.

There has been so many difficult meetings with the diagnosis, before it started I said I will need some support from counsueling to help me get through it, absolutely nothing.

My mental health seems to be deteriorating, and that is picking up some speed. Just cant go on like this. I keep telling people this is too much, but no one listens, yes I have tried the samartians.

Just really hacked off with modern life in general, everything has to be so awkward and twisted. Dont know what to do

Random 

  • Another thing that occurs to me random is you using an advocacy swrvice who can chase up social services etc as needed, given you are working this could be a very valuable service for you. 

    Google advocacy services in your county/borough...

  • Thanks for the replies, I never though of it before, but I do usually spend my lunch hour doing a long walk in town to try and find some lunch or sort something out. I started that about ten years ago. I probably had not realise just how much that had contributed to making me feel better. I will get hold of a copy of that book, thanks.

    I know the ticketing things are not in the grand scheme of things big issues. I have been very stressed with everything, and tend to find it is sometimes the smallest of things can set me off. The big issues for me are dealing the asd post diagnosis, ocd pre diagnosis, social care/support, housing situation. I don't get much spare time after work, and the extra effort I have to put in to dealing with general day to day things.

    I also very rarely have a normal holiday lasting a week or more, because I find that difficult to deal with. I rarely ventured out beyond going to work until about 3 years ago, and try to make it a thing to arrange these odd day/evenings out every now and again. I just want to try and make the most of that little time and have something to look forward too. 

    The autism team has made a referral for social care, a support worker I can see on a regular basis to help me deal with things rather than having to abandon stuff I just dont have the energy to follow through.

    Random

     

  • I really feel for you in relation to the social lunch. I suffered many of these at work. I did not want to appear unfriendly, but hated them. Fictitious dental problems are one way of getting out them; such as tooth ache etc.

    The book I have on ASD, by Valerie Gault, says that it is social overload. That hour, if spent alone in the office, or walking somewhere quiet, can be so restorative and help you cope with all the rest of life's agravations. I need time alone as much as I need air to breathe and water to drink.

  • The only thing that strikes me here is that social services arent involved in your employer making adaptions Or in assisting in this difficult time. You dont have to go it alone, get the council involved or find out what help you are entitled to given the diagnosis.

    There must be local NAS representatives who can be contacted to advice on what help is available and how to get acess to it.

    my experience of work has bern bad so you have my full empathy during this difficult time.