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Changes To Your Autism Over Time

Banjo's Backpack

Hi everyone. Recently I have been experiencing strange feelings. I discovered autism initially by feeling 'not the same', although I was ok with that. I then learnt how to live with things, and joined football teams for example, and I have always had great ambition.

Recently though, at work, I found I have a threshold. It gets to a point and my body just shuts off functions. Motivation completely goes, I don't want to interact and I need a few days, probably a good week to even get close to feeling normal again. It's frustrating because I am ambitious so I want to be motivated and cope in these situations. I never foreseen it as I am fairly mentally strong.

After taking a few years out of football due to friends leaving to go abroad and new - not as friendly people, I didnt enjoy it as much anymore back then. Now, I miss it so I enquired to return, but this time to Gaelic football - which I have played before and its a better environment with more friends (also less likeable people, but they keep themselves to themselves too). When I enquired about going back though today, I felt strange. I felt weak, suffocated, like I couldn't do it, and I wouldnt be strong enough too. It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism. With football, I just don't really get it. I love running and weight training too though, but I never used to feel like I did today. This threshold feeling is getting more common. I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?

Thanks for any replies, I appreciate your advice and thanks for reading.

Parents

  • Banjo's Backpack said:

    It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

    I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism.

    I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

    Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?



    Hi. Thank you for articulating something I've been wrestling with far better than I could manage. This sums up so well how I feel, almost on a daily basis.

    Personally, it is applicable to my working situation. I feel that since I've had an official diagnosis of my condition, I am more acutely aware of it's effects in day-to-day life, and where I once survived at work and made it by with good days and bad like anyone, now I find each and every hour of each and every shift torturous, endless and soul-destroying. I, too, subsequently feel like the next two days are of simply recovering.

    The energy, motivation and consideration I once thought I put into things are just not there any more and I seem to simply be dragging myself between one stressful encounter and another. As such, my craving for "personal space" is growing so strong I begin to consider, in my lowest ebbs, just giving work up and living on the dole. Which is ridiculous, as I am proud that I work.

    In short, yes, I worry a great deal about my future, near and far. In my relationship, study and employment I feel it taking a greater and greater hold and I know something must give. My fear is that it is, of course, unlikely to be my autism! 

Reply

  • Banjo's Backpack said:

    It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

    I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism.

    I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

    Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?



    Hi. Thank you for articulating something I've been wrestling with far better than I could manage. This sums up so well how I feel, almost on a daily basis.

    Personally, it is applicable to my working situation. I feel that since I've had an official diagnosis of my condition, I am more acutely aware of it's effects in day-to-day life, and where I once survived at work and made it by with good days and bad like anyone, now I find each and every hour of each and every shift torturous, endless and soul-destroying. I, too, subsequently feel like the next two days are of simply recovering.

    The energy, motivation and consideration I once thought I put into things are just not there any more and I seem to simply be dragging myself between one stressful encounter and another. As such, my craving for "personal space" is growing so strong I begin to consider, in my lowest ebbs, just giving work up and living on the dole. Which is ridiculous, as I am proud that I work.

    In short, yes, I worry a great deal about my future, near and far. In my relationship, study and employment I feel it taking a greater and greater hold and I know something must give. My fear is that it is, of course, unlikely to be my autism! 

Children
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