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Changes To Your Autism Over Time

Banjo's Backpack

Hi everyone. Recently I have been experiencing strange feelings. I discovered autism initially by feeling 'not the same', although I was ok with that. I then learnt how to live with things, and joined football teams for example, and I have always had great ambition.

Recently though, at work, I found I have a threshold. It gets to a point and my body just shuts off functions. Motivation completely goes, I don't want to interact and I need a few days, probably a good week to even get close to feeling normal again. It's frustrating because I am ambitious so I want to be motivated and cope in these situations. I never foreseen it as I am fairly mentally strong.

After taking a few years out of football due to friends leaving to go abroad and new - not as friendly people, I didnt enjoy it as much anymore back then. Now, I miss it so I enquired to return, but this time to Gaelic football - which I have played before and its a better environment with more friends (also less likeable people, but they keep themselves to themselves too). When I enquired about going back though today, I felt strange. I felt weak, suffocated, like I couldn't do it, and I wouldnt be strong enough too. It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism. With football, I just don't really get it. I love running and weight training too though, but I never used to feel like I did today. This threshold feeling is getting more common. I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?

Thanks for any replies, I appreciate your advice and thanks for reading.

Parents

  • Thanks Recombinantsocks

    I do, which is even more worrying in a way, that's why i never thought it might be depression or anxiety. Can you be positive but be depressed? To be honest, it would kind of make sense even though on paper it doesn't. Unfortunately at the moment, i feel i can't really cope with how things are, but im trying to find a way to change that (which is really difficult but i do anyway). What do you do if you like a situation but you don't like the effect the situation is having on you?

    The way you say being nice to people is interesting. I feel when I am in these situations, that I focus on making myself feel better, but I block out the rest of the world, and I don't care for anyone else. I simply don't want to interact with anyone (I don't mind that either). Basically, I am getting less tolerant with people, even those I love because I can think pretty black and white, even though I love a person in my life, if they are negative enough, I axe them from it. As an extension, if anyone is negative in my life (family, friends, people I don't really know but haven't been nice), I pretty much elminate them from it. I am not sure that's healthy or not.

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  • Thanks Recombinantsocks

    I do, which is even more worrying in a way, that's why i never thought it might be depression or anxiety. Can you be positive but be depressed? To be honest, it would kind of make sense even though on paper it doesn't. Unfortunately at the moment, i feel i can't really cope with how things are, but im trying to find a way to change that (which is really difficult but i do anyway). What do you do if you like a situation but you don't like the effect the situation is having on you?

    The way you say being nice to people is interesting. I feel when I am in these situations, that I focus on making myself feel better, but I block out the rest of the world, and I don't care for anyone else. I simply don't want to interact with anyone (I don't mind that either). Basically, I am getting less tolerant with people, even those I love because I can think pretty black and white, even though I love a person in my life, if they are negative enough, I axe them from it. As an extension, if anyone is negative in my life (family, friends, people I don't really know but haven't been nice), I pretty much elminate them from it. I am not sure that's healthy or not.

Children
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