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Changes To Your Autism Over Time

Banjo's Backpack

Hi everyone. Recently I have been experiencing strange feelings. I discovered autism initially by feeling 'not the same', although I was ok with that. I then learnt how to live with things, and joined football teams for example, and I have always had great ambition.

Recently though, at work, I found I have a threshold. It gets to a point and my body just shuts off functions. Motivation completely goes, I don't want to interact and I need a few days, probably a good week to even get close to feeling normal again. It's frustrating because I am ambitious so I want to be motivated and cope in these situations. I never foreseen it as I am fairly mentally strong.

After taking a few years out of football due to friends leaving to go abroad and new - not as friendly people, I didnt enjoy it as much anymore back then. Now, I miss it so I enquired to return, but this time to Gaelic football - which I have played before and its a better environment with more friends (also less likeable people, but they keep themselves to themselves too). When I enquired about going back though today, I felt strange. I felt weak, suffocated, like I couldn't do it, and I wouldnt be strong enough too. It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism. With football, I just don't really get it. I love running and weight training too though, but I never used to feel like I did today. This threshold feeling is getting more common. I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?

Thanks for any replies, I appreciate your advice and thanks for reading.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi BBP,

    It sounds as though you have a healthy attitude to things. Thinking positive is good - I came across Valerie Gaus' book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Well-Spectrum-Challenges-High-Functioning/dp/1606236342 when I first suspected I had autism. The book confirmed my suspicions (I subsequently got diagnosed too) but also encouraged a positive approach together with practical things to do that can help you deal with the condition.

    I think people should be aware of their mental state of mind in the same way that we pay attention to our physical health. It is normal to have physical problems, coughs and colds and worse but we should also pay attention to our mood/mental health and take action to deal with problems when they arise in that department. I am much more aware now of whether I am up or down and that if I am feeling down/slow/overwhelmed then that it is usually a short term thing that will resolve if I make an effort to be nice to myself and other people.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi BBP,

    It sounds as though you have a healthy attitude to things. Thinking positive is good - I came across Valerie Gaus' book http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Well-Spectrum-Challenges-High-Functioning/dp/1606236342 when I first suspected I had autism. The book confirmed my suspicions (I subsequently got diagnosed too) but also encouraged a positive approach together with practical things to do that can help you deal with the condition.

    I think people should be aware of their mental state of mind in the same way that we pay attention to our physical health. It is normal to have physical problems, coughs and colds and worse but we should also pay attention to our mood/mental health and take action to deal with problems when they arise in that department. I am much more aware now of whether I am up or down and that if I am feeling down/slow/overwhelmed then that it is usually a short term thing that will resolve if I make an effort to be nice to myself and other people.

Children
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