Changes To Your Autism Over Time

Hi everyone. Recently I have been experiencing strange feelings. I discovered autism initially by feeling 'not the same', although I was ok with that. I then learnt how to live with things, and joined football teams for example, and I have always had great ambition.

Recently though, at work, I found I have a threshold. It gets to a point and my body just shuts off functions. Motivation completely goes, I don't want to interact and I need a few days, probably a good week to even get close to feeling normal again. It's frustrating because I am ambitious so I want to be motivated and cope in these situations. I never foreseen it as I am fairly mentally strong.

After taking a few years out of football due to friends leaving to go abroad and new - not as friendly people, I didnt enjoy it as much anymore back then. Now, I miss it so I enquired to return, but this time to Gaelic football - which I have played before and its a better environment with more friends (also less likeable people, but they keep themselves to themselves too). When I enquired about going back though today, I felt strange. I felt weak, suffocated, like I couldn't do it, and I wouldnt be strong enough too. It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism. With football, I just don't really get it. I love running and weight training too though, but I never used to feel like I did today. This threshold feeling is getting more common. I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?

Thanks for any replies, I appreciate your advice and thanks for reading.

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi BB,

    I think Longman may be on the right track. Your 'changes' sound like they could be depression and anxiety related. Autism often leads to mental distress and ailments that can benefit from treatment. Treatment for such issues in autistic people should often be counselling and CBT based rather than drug based. Autism itself isn't an illness but it doesn't mean that you can't have mental health issues. Separating what is autism and what is not in onesself (or anyone else) is not straightforward.

    Depression, speaking from personal experience, is hard to spot in onesself when first experienced. In hindsight, I can identify periods when I was affected and I am more aware now of when I am "not myself". Anxiety is also hard to understand until experienced.

    I would suggest that you go and talk to your GP about your problems and ask for help.

    It is interesting to hear what you say about being diagnosed as a child (if I understood you correctly) and then finding out about it later. I think that being labelled can sometimes be harmful and can lead to issues. I'm aware that I am sometimes overreacting and not quite sure what to do as I am often worrying about what to do for the best. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and haven't figured everything out yet.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Hi BB,

    I think Longman may be on the right track. Your 'changes' sound like they could be depression and anxiety related. Autism often leads to mental distress and ailments that can benefit from treatment. Treatment for such issues in autistic people should often be counselling and CBT based rather than drug based. Autism itself isn't an illness but it doesn't mean that you can't have mental health issues. Separating what is autism and what is not in onesself (or anyone else) is not straightforward.

    Depression, speaking from personal experience, is hard to spot in onesself when first experienced. In hindsight, I can identify periods when I was affected and I am more aware now of when I am "not myself". Anxiety is also hard to understand until experienced.

    I would suggest that you go and talk to your GP about your problems and ask for help.

    It is interesting to hear what you say about being diagnosed as a child (if I understood you correctly) and then finding out about it later. I think that being labelled can sometimes be harmful and can lead to issues. I'm aware that I am sometimes overreacting and not quite sure what to do as I am often worrying about what to do for the best. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and haven't figured everything out yet.

Children
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