Changes To Your Autism Over Time

Hi everyone. Recently I have been experiencing strange feelings. I discovered autism initially by feeling 'not the same', although I was ok with that. I then learnt how to live with things, and joined football teams for example, and I have always had great ambition.

Recently though, at work, I found I have a threshold. It gets to a point and my body just shuts off functions. Motivation completely goes, I don't want to interact and I need a few days, probably a good week to even get close to feeling normal again. It's frustrating because I am ambitious so I want to be motivated and cope in these situations. I never foreseen it as I am fairly mentally strong.

After taking a few years out of football due to friends leaving to go abroad and new - not as friendly people, I didnt enjoy it as much anymore back then. Now, I miss it so I enquired to return, but this time to Gaelic football - which I have played before and its a better environment with more friends (also less likeable people, but they keep themselves to themselves too). When I enquired about going back though today, I felt strange. I felt weak, suffocated, like I couldn't do it, and I wouldnt be strong enough too. It's not just a feeling, it's back to the failing of functions again. I feel I just can't cope in that surrounding anymore, even though I once very much enjoyed it. 

I am now rather worried about my future. I like my own time and own space during the day, but I seem to be needing more and more of it. Working a full time job is so difficult, I didn't even see it come. I just stop functioning properly, and I can feel it is autism. With football, I just don't really get it. I love running and weight training too though, but I never used to feel like I did today. This threshold feeling is getting more common. I feel like I understood the world back in around 2007-8. Now I feel I haven't a clue how things work anymore. I nearly feel I didn't realise how much I am effected by it. Now it really is effecting me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? A worsening of autism, so to speak, as years go by?

Thanks for any replies, I appreciate your advice and thanks for reading.

Parents
  • Hey Classic Codger,

    Thanks for your reply, that's what I would say I can relate to, the same experience. I wonder how we can combat it? Especially when before, it was easier, although I am not entirely ensure why that was.

    I discovered autism through 'feeling' it. I knew I was different to other people and I questioned it at an adolescent age, then finding out that I was diagnosed. I don't know whether it was a good or bad thing not knowing for all those years while others did.

    Thankfully, I don't feel weird or loony. I am sure I maybe appear that way to other people, but I don't care what other people think of that. For example, I like things from childhood such as video games which are seen as childish to a lot of people now. But I couldn't care less because I enjoy it and it helps me to escape.

    Thanks for your advice and support though. Any ideas how you approached things as it got more difficult? I looked into the likes of DLA, even though I really didn't want it, turns out I don't seem eligible, apparently my condition isn't debilitating enough. I thought that might allow me some sort of leeway from the financial pressures that lead to the situations that the functioning problems occur in, therefore causing more problems through financial restrictions because it is difficult to work for extended hours a week.

Reply
  • Hey Classic Codger,

    Thanks for your reply, that's what I would say I can relate to, the same experience. I wonder how we can combat it? Especially when before, it was easier, although I am not entirely ensure why that was.

    I discovered autism through 'feeling' it. I knew I was different to other people and I questioned it at an adolescent age, then finding out that I was diagnosed. I don't know whether it was a good or bad thing not knowing for all those years while others did.

    Thankfully, I don't feel weird or loony. I am sure I maybe appear that way to other people, but I don't care what other people think of that. For example, I like things from childhood such as video games which are seen as childish to a lot of people now. But I couldn't care less because I enjoy it and it helps me to escape.

    Thanks for your advice and support though. Any ideas how you approached things as it got more difficult? I looked into the likes of DLA, even though I really didn't want it, turns out I don't seem eligible, apparently my condition isn't debilitating enough. I thought that might allow me some sort of leeway from the financial pressures that lead to the situations that the functioning problems occur in, therefore causing more problems through financial restrictions because it is difficult to work for extended hours a week.

Children
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