Published on 12, July, 2020
I've not been diagnosed with Asperger's, but recently I had a long chat with someone with whom I shared so many traits/viewpoints and it turned out he'd been diagnosed.
My problem is that I start off well at every job, but within a year or two things go incredibly wrong, I feel that people gang up on me and I end up walking out. I can't cope with meetings: I can't think of anything to say, if I do say something it's ignored and I get told I project a 'negative attitude'. At breaks no-one talks to me. I feel like a caged bird, desperate to escape, and if anything overruns beyond the time it was supposed to finish, I get very angry and resentful.
I excel at time management, organisation and anything that requires loads of detail, but no matter how hard I try people accuse me of being unapproachable or I get criticised for things that others get away with. I help others as much as I can, but I get told I don't! I give praise and support, but am told I don't! I go out of my way to be friendly to people, but I'm told I don't! It's like it doesn't matter what I do I get picked on for it. My cards are marked, so to speak, because I am incredibly honest all the time and believe in justice, and people don't like the challenge. I find it almost impossible to manage my emotions and become either a blubbering wreck or 'aggressive' because I will defend myself if I feel something is unfair.
I'm getting to the point where I'm likely to walk out of another job because I can't stand what I perceive to be victimisation. Clearly the issue must be me, or the pattern wouldn't have repeated itself three times now. I just can't work with people; they have agendas that I really cannot understand.
Does anyone else experience these kinds of problems at work?
Yes, that is common experience for people on the spectrum. My last boss had a total meltdown when I pushed him to breaking point. That was the trigger for me going for diagnosis and I can now look back on loads of incidents in my working life. Mainly, I have been critical of bosses and authority and the insanity of every organisation I've worked for. The common factor is however, my inability to be a good corporate citizen, my inability to say the right thing etc. I'm learning though and am probably going to get help from the Access to Work scheme who will provide training for me and my employer to get into a better relationship. Your perception of victimisation probably reflects their inability to deal with you in a way that you can appreciate. They will resort to discipline and threats, none of which makes sense to you. I know exactly how that feels!