Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like I'm almost alone online. I seem to be surrounded by people with Asperger's who despite this, are able to manage college and university, often are able to work and socialise freely...
In my case, I'm confined to the house most days -- often too scared or just to exhausted to go out. When I do go out it's almost always a frightening and I'm usually on the verge of a panic attack the whole time. (Unless of course I drink until I'm drunk before leaving home).
I read so many stories about what a positive thing autism can be and how we are such a resource to society, but all I see is disability and dependency :(.
You?
Hi Harry
I can sympathize with much you are feeling having been diagnosed with AS later on in life and yes its very tough. I have suffered from years of depression and it came as a relief to find some sort of reason for not feeling like everyone else. I have not worked now for three years - and I am someone who desperately wants to work - but know that it needs to be the right work for me. I have yet to find this but won't give up trying to find it!
So in the meantime I have taken a different tact - finding things I enjoy doing. Since going back to my one passion in life - animals, particulalrly horses - I am beginning to savour the joy of "being in the moment" when I am riding. Its just half an hour a week and I feel very nervous before I go but the positive benefits of finding and doing something you enjoy (with no pressure) is immense.
Is there any hobby that you are passionate about? If so, although you may feel its all a bit pointless, I would say go with it for a bit and see how you feel. The fact that you have signed up to this community forum is a positive thing to have done so you should give yourself a metaphorical pat on the back for this alone!