Published on 12, July, 2020
I feel like I'm almost alone online. I seem to be surrounded by people with Asperger's who despite this, are able to manage college and university, often are able to work and socialise freely...
In my case, I'm confined to the house most days -- often too scared or just to exhausted to go out. When I do go out it's almost always a frightening and I'm usually on the verge of a panic attack the whole time. (Unless of course I drink until I'm drunk before leaving home).
I read so many stories about what a positive thing autism can be and how we are such a resource to society, but all I see is disability and dependency :(.
You?
hi harry,
your not alone..i really relate to what you said.despite going to uni as a youth ive been unable to live independantlly for over 10 years and when ive worked,have broken down eventually..
the stress and strain of trying to cope each day have had a burning out effect on me and has led to chronic depression,ocd and anxiety.i cant go too far alone now.self medicating with alcohol, whilst concerning, is also understandable when each day is so hard.i guess its like having to run on 10 batteries when weve only got 4....exhausting.
my take on it is that its not all about you trying to be positive or try harder ,but rather that its about services and support being available to you and me to help to minimise the chronic impact of every day stresses that most people take for granted...
our disability is invisible and that leads to expectations that we cant always live up to.trying harder can lead to breakdown.and severe depression.
you talked about dependancy...i am dependant on certain limited services...but i dont think that is negative.if help,support and care enable us to live fuller,calmer and happier lives...then bring it on.perhaps we would need to self medicate less then.
please dont feel alone.you arent.