Obsession with people

That was great to find that this was a autistic trait. I didn't have anything I was doing for awhile didn't find any special thing I was doing because I felt disrespected by my family. Because I wasn't allowed to do my old special interest and work on the sea. My old interest was sailors, uniforms and leadership. I thought I was over that when I got married.

I signed my son up for martial arts. I found out my sister had cancer. I ended up singing up with my son because it was an old interest. The instructor wore something that resembled an old interest and that could have been a trigger. He was nice enough to help me make a video for my sister. I found my self getting obsessed with my Taekwondo instructor. To the point where I was falling in love with him. Then I wrote him a note about how I felt. I got kicked out. 

I think what triggered it was I wanted some one to respect me as a person. I was trying to seek approval and support. By a person of leadership because of what I used to do. I was looking for a change and unaware of the state of my mental state at the time. I just wanted something and I didn't know what.

Then I trained karate for awhile at a different place. One of instructor wasn't understanding of autism I would have other issues there. People would make up stuff about me. Stuff I didn't even do. So there was no people obsession there. Because the other instructor would let me assistant class. I was tired of getting disrespected for a problem I can't change. I found that I loved martial arts. They keep on saying how martial arts is good for autistic people. So why can't an autistic person be an instructor if they are able to?

But I was still obsessed with the other place. The old instructor left. There was some other 2 guys there I told them about what happened. They let me back in. Then I got obsessed with them. But the main guy listened to me about it. Because his brother had autism. He was a person of more understanding. I started to focus more on the special interest of martial arts not the person. He got me focused on being an assistant instructor. Then I felt my whole world came to an end when he left.

I thought I was still okay with the other guy to be his assistant. Because I wasn't obsessing over any one for awhile at that point. Then company wouldn't let me be his assistant.

There was this guy that showed up out of nowhere. I just didn't like him and I could see his BS. I couldn't understand why no one else could see it. The guy was turning everyone against me. That I thought was understating of me. I became obsessed to expose his BS. No one was listening I didn't get it how could they believe him being there for a few months and me being there for years. I just couldn't stop talking about him. Was mad he was making up stuff I didn't even do. I tried to tell them that. That ended up ruining my chances to be an instructor. Someone told me something he did. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling the head master about it. I was going to have everything back and he will just go away. I ended up getting kicked out for good this time.

 Because the only thing they could think of what I did a long time ago as if I made no progress. I was mad at Mr. BS.  They discriminated me promed Mr. BS to black belt in a month because he wasn't autistic and he wasn't even that good and this guy was a pervert. That was so unfair when you work to change something your still punished for your life struggles of the past. 

I still didn't want to quit. I ended up opening up my own business and trying really hard not get to obsessed with people that sign up. It is hard when you get attached to them and some leave. You feel your still messing up and wondering what our they saying about you. You have to just keep going. Some people are just not going to understand.

Obsessing over people as a person with autism is one of the worst things to have. If the person is actually in your life and not on TV. Finding a special interest is important for autistic people. When you don't have one or not aloud to do it anymore it's t's very frustrating. Some people don't know what things mean to you even though it seems ridiculous to them. 

That was great to find that this was a autistic trait. I didn't have anything I was doing for awhile didn't find any special thing I was doing because I felt disrespected by my family. Because I wasn't allowed to do my old special interest and work on the sea. My old interest was sailors, uniforms and leadership. I thought I was over that when I got married.

I signed my son up for martial arts. I found out my sister had cancer. I ended up singing up with my son because it was an old interest. The instructor wore something that resembled an old interest and that could have been a trigger. He was nice enough to help me make a video for my sister. I found my self getting obsessed with my Taekwondo instructor. To the point where I was falling in love with him. Then I wrote him a note about how I felt. I got kicked out. 

I think what triggered it was I wanted some one to respect me as a person. I was trying to seek approval and support. By a person of leadership because of what I used to do. I was looking for a change and unaware of the state of my mental state at the time. I just wanted something and I didn't know what.

Then I trained karate for awhile at a different place. One of instructor wasn't understanding of autism I would have other issues there. People would make up stuff about me. Stuff I didn't even do. So there was no people obsession there. Because the other instructor would let me assistant class. I was tired of getting disrespected for a problem I can't change. I found that I loved martial arts. They keep on saying how martial arts is good for autistic people. So why can't an autistic person be an instructor if they are able to?

But I was still obsessed with the other place. The old instructor left. There was some other 2 guys there I told them about what happened. They let me back in. Then I got obsessed with them. But the main guy listened to me about it. Because his brother had autism. He was a person of more understanding. I started to focus more on the special interest of martial arts not the person. He got me focused on being an assistant instructor. Then I felt my whole world came to an end when he left.

I thought I was still okay with the other guy to be his assistant. Because I wasn't obsessing over any one for awhile at that point. Then company wouldn't let me be his assistant.

There was this guy that showed up out of nowhere. I just didn't like him and I could see his BS. I couldn't understand why no one else could see it. The guy was turning everyone against me. That I thought was understating of me. I became obsessed to expose his BS. No one was listening I didn't get it how could they believe him being there for a few months and me being there for years. I just couldn't stop talking about him. Was mad he was making up stuff I didn't even do. I tried to tell them that. That ended up ruining my chances to be an instructor. Someone told me something he did. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling the head master about it. I was going to have everything back and he will just go away. I ended up getting kicked out for good this time.

 Because the only thing they could think of what I did a long time ago as if I made no progress. I was mad at Mr. BS.  They discriminated me promed Mr. BS to black belt in a month because he wasn't autistic and he wasn't even that good and this guy was a pervert. That was so unfair when you work to change something your still punished for your life struggles of the past. 

I still didn't want to quit. I ended up opening up my own business and trying really hard not get to obsessed with people that sign up. It is hard when you get attached to them and some leave. You feel your still messing up and wondering what our they saying about you. You have to just keep going. Some people are just not going to understand.

Obsessing over people as a person with autism is one of the worst things to have. If the person is actually in your life and not on TV. Finding a special interest is important for autistic people. When you don't have one or not aloud to do it anymore it's t's very frustrating. Some people don't know what things mean to you even though it seems ridiculous to them.