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Does anyone else cry when they make mistakes?

Hope

Does anyone else cry when they are criticised or when someone simply points out that they have made a mistake? I have this problem. When I was volunteering on the till at Age UK today, I accidentally forgot to 'gift-aid' an item by using the bar-code scanning machine. The manager told me nicely that I had forgotten to do this, and that if an item is not scanned for gift-aid they would lose money. She told me not to worry as she could gift-aid the transaction once I had left. But tears immediately started welling up in my eyes, I got a lump in my throat, my lip started trembling and I could not make eye-contact for the rest of the morning. I felt like crying but had to repress the tears. I knew rationally that getting upset over so small a thing was silly, but I could not control my physical display of emotion, and I worry that people might have noticed I was upset as one customer said, 'Are you alright?'.  The emotion seemed alien to me because on a non-physical level I did not feel anything, but thoughts went through my mind telling me that I can't do anything right, I am a liability, don't concentrate etc, even though I was doing my hardest. I have a very strong need to complete tasks to perfection and I am a control-freak. I only felt better when the manager thanked me for doing a hard days work and told me that the morning takings had reached over £200.

 

I want to feel that I am contributing, that my voluntary work counts, but I need to be in control and I feel defensive when people try to help me.

Parents

  • I was often criticised for crying too much as a child. My daughter (on pathway for ASD assessment) is also more tearful than her twin.

    For me it was such a stinging hurt to be criticised even slightly when my intentions were always to please (and be perfect, of course). I was talking about emotional resilience at my counselling session last night. I never seemed to have developed any and despite being nearly 50 years old, inside I am quite childlike in some respects.

    It would take me a long time to get over the hurt and I would often feel suspicious and distrustful of the person who delivered the criticism. It probably explains why I was distrustful of most people actually. Although, strangely, I actually find my distrust of people has been a benefit to me in life. It made me so self-reliant, more so than my peers especially as a teenager.

    I also feel it protected me from being taken advantage of as so many young people can be whether they are on the spectrum or not. I came across as much older and wiser than my years when I was young. Life is very different for me now however. I seem to need more help translating life and while I am able to detect ulterior motives in people I am less able to determine the specific nature of the ulterior motives which can make me quite vulnerable.

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  • I was often criticised for crying too much as a child. My daughter (on pathway for ASD assessment) is also more tearful than her twin.

    For me it was such a stinging hurt to be criticised even slightly when my intentions were always to please (and be perfect, of course). I was talking about emotional resilience at my counselling session last night. I never seemed to have developed any and despite being nearly 50 years old, inside I am quite childlike in some respects.

    It would take me a long time to get over the hurt and I would often feel suspicious and distrustful of the person who delivered the criticism. It probably explains why I was distrustful of most people actually. Although, strangely, I actually find my distrust of people has been a benefit to me in life. It made me so self-reliant, more so than my peers especially as a teenager.

    I also feel it protected me from being taken advantage of as so many young people can be whether they are on the spectrum or not. I came across as much older and wiser than my years when I was young. Life is very different for me now however. I seem to need more help translating life and while I am able to detect ulterior motives in people I am less able to determine the specific nature of the ulterior motives which can make me quite vulnerable.

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