This is a controversial topic, but I wonder how many adults with autism are experiencing the consequences of parental emotional neglect? Emotional neglect can be subtle and insidious. It has been called an 'invisible force'. Of course, with autism, it can be hard to give and receive affection, so a parent will try and bond with their child. However, bonding is transactional, it works both ways, and if the child, because of their autism, has problems forming secure attachments, this can make the parenting job a lot harder. Coupled with this is the fact that autism is usually genetic. If a parent struggles with empathy, they may unwittingly emotionally starve their developing child.
This is not about blame, it is about understanding. I have never received real love or acceptance from either parent. They love me and I have never been abused. To all appearances I had a good childhood, a stable home, and all my material needs were met. I spent a lot of time outdoors, and had good holidays. But my parents have never truly understood my condition. As a child I had no label for my difficulties, and so I was punished and blamed. Consequently, to this day, despite now having a diagnosis, I feel a low sense of self worth. I crave love and affection, but my parents just cannot empathise with my problems, particuluarly my father. His mum had chronic mental health problems and no doubt emotionally starved him as he was growing up. My mum lived in a stiff upper lip household where emotions were not talked about. Both parents are prone to stress and often argue. I am blamed for their problems.
Are autistic children/adults suffering from emotional neglect?
