Spotted on the news a facebook campaign about boys groping young girls at a concert. Has bought back difficult memories of a similar incident that happened to me over a year ago. Now I am a 49 year old male, and there were a couple of younger females, late 20s or early 30s behind me. I wasn't attracted to them in any way, made no eye contact with them, and was facing away from them. I was right at the front trying to enjoy the band, it was a really special gig for me, and the band played 3 songs I had dreamed about hearing them play live, one of which I suggested they play on their face book page.
The loudest one of the two, her first interaction with me, was to bear hug me extremely tightly, while talking in my ear that she would set her bouncer friends on me if I caused any trouble, I tried as much as I can to ignore them and never spoke to them. During the concert one of the girls was intentonally touching me, without trying to go in to too much detail. I know what you are thinking, and no, it was not the kind of bumping or knocking in to people you get when people are dancing in close quarters.
At one point the touching was sustained and lasted for about 3-4 minutes. Later in the concert the band wanted some interaction by raising hands, and the loud girl, force my hands up, and said whats wrong with are you autistic or something. At that time I wasn't aware I was. I turned round once to check if they were still behind me, and I saw the other girl. She never said anything, but made this strange expressionless face starring at me, I am certain she was mocking me.
I didn't realise at the time, but this had really affected me, and I was in a lot of shock. I went to the entrance and talked to the doorman about it, he could see I was in a state, he was ok and tried to calm me down, and took details. Sadly at that point the gig had ended and everyone was leaving. I asked if they had cctv at the entrance, they said they couldn't go through cctv, and I would need to speak to the manager. Which I did and had to go through the whole thing again with other people in close range. She couldn't do anything, and said if I wanted to progress it further to call the police.
I didn't know what to do, when I got home (in a different county), I dialed 101 to phone police for advice. I explained what happen and she said she would log the call. About 10 minutes later I had 2 traffic police call at my door, I explained again what happened. They took details, and I was contacted by police force in the county it happened, they were very good and keen for me to make a statement as they felt it was targetted for the assualt because they though I was autistic.
I was very worried as I was there on my own, while the girls were there together and could back each other up. The other thing on my mind is that is was an assault on an older male by females, and the general perception of this type of thing is the other way round. I didn't think I would be believed in a court, and worse the girls could accuse me of assaulting them, I am sure they would be believed.
The police in the country where it happened were pressuring me to make a statement, they were very supportive. There was a photo on the bands facebook page, with clear images of me and the girls. I did build up my courage to make statement, but that was done by my local police force. The guy came round to my house, I tried to describe what happened, I had written notes on paper. He just kept twisting it round on had I misread the situation, I was absolutely sure I hadn't. This went on for a couple of hours, and it shattered all the confidence I had build up to make the statement.
It took me a long time to pick pieces up, and really spoilt what would have been a great concert for me. It has been very difficult to try to keep pushing my self to continue to go out. Dealing with the police was an ordeal on top of the assault. Then I felt guilty not filing the statement, I wanted to do it to help someone else these girls might target in the future who was autistic (I didn't know I was at the time)
Sorry for the rant, just brought up a lot of bad memories which I am still trying to deal with. I am bit angry that the campaign is viewed as being a problem females experience. Its a bit of a taboo for males to come forward, like domestic violence and abuse
This was the first time in my life anyone suggested I could be autistic. It did not lead on to me being eventually diagnosed. Aspergers was suggested to me by a counsuelor I was seeing about two months after this. In our discussions I did not mention this event, because our time was very limited and I wanted to focus on something that I felt would make the most improvement.
