Difficult Subject - Groping / Assaults

You are perfectly entitled to complain about sexual harrassment or assault in such a situation. The principle seems to be, in theory at least, that if it is perceived as harrassment by the recipient, it should be followed up So you were right to try to get some resolution from the system.

If I read it correctly, social interaction in gigs and clubs involves a certain amount of behavioral licence - it is usually either dark or flooded with bright lights, it is crowded, no-one can easily signal by facial expression if they don't want something to happen (if the face is partly obscured by shadow or light) and it is very difficult to communicate verbally. Interaction becomes very tactile, and someone would have to respond very clearly that they didn't want the contact.

Of course that is a disaster area if you are on the autistic spectrum. Speech is your main form of communication - cannot hear it above the noise, cannot hope to make yourself heard. Body language isn't you thing, indeed your body language may be doing the opposite of what you intend. An autistic male might appearing to say yes when meaning expressly no.

As I've observed, communication in noisy venues has to be exaggerated (before diagnosis I sought the club scene as a social outlet because I couldn't interact properly at nominally quieter social situations like parties - white noise ends up as a relief).

You've actually got to shout in someone's ear, or very manually show that you don't want the unwelcome attention. If you see a conflict developing it is often because people have misread attention or have not been able to convey by gestures they don't want it. Often snarling and mouthing ******** is the only way of stopping unwelcome attention. It really has to be on that level.

Some non-autistics think that everyone should be in the party spirit. If they see someone looking alone and out of it, they seem to feel it is their duty to get that person involved. So it need not be as simple as attraction as come on, join in the fuin with us. The intention may have been quite harmless. But you would probably have to be quite expressive back to get them to stop. And autistic control of facial expression and gesture may not be adequate for that, nor would you necessarily want to be aggressive.

Though that must make it hard for anyone whose sensory limits are being exceeded who are approaching a meltdown reaction. How do you go to a gig to enjoy yourself when other people wont let you do so in peace.

A similar type of non-autistic behaviour is couples on coach tours or cruises, or package holidays, who think it is their duty to "adopt" anyone who is single, that they think needs to join in the fun.

It's an NT world out there full of folly, lack of consideration for others feelings (who says we lack empathy?!), and rudeness abounds. Just its done in an NT way.......that makes it OK......??

You are perfectly entitled to complain about sexual harrassment or assault in such a situation. The principle seems to be, in theory at least, that if it is perceived as harrassment by the recipient, it should be followed up So you were right to try to get some resolution from the system.

If I read it correctly, social interaction in gigs and clubs involves a certain amount of behavioral licence - it is usually either dark or flooded with bright lights, it is crowded, no-one can easily signal by facial expression if they don't want something to happen (if the face is partly obscured by shadow or light) and it is very difficult to communicate verbally. Interaction becomes very tactile, and someone would have to respond very clearly that they didn't want the contact.

Of course that is a disaster area if you are on the autistic spectrum. Speech is your main form of communication - cannot hear it above the noise, cannot hope to make yourself heard. Body language isn't you thing, indeed your body language may be doing the opposite of what you intend. An autistic male might appearing to say yes when meaning expressly no.

As I've observed, communication in noisy venues has to be exaggerated (before diagnosis I sought the club scene as a social outlet because I couldn't interact properly at nominally quieter social situations like parties - white noise ends up as a relief).

You've actually got to shout in someone's ear, or very manually show that you don't want the unwelcome attention. If you see a conflict developing it is often because people have misread attention or have not been able to convey by gestures they don't want it. Often snarling and mouthing ******** is the only way of stopping unwelcome attention. It really has to be on that level.

Some non-autistics think that everyone should be in the party spirit. If they see someone looking alone and out of it, they seem to feel it is their duty to get that person involved. So it need not be as simple as attraction as come on, join in the fuin with us. The intention may have been quite harmless. But you would probably have to be quite expressive back to get them to stop. And autistic control of facial expression and gesture may not be adequate for that, nor would you necessarily want to be aggressive.

Though that must make it hard for anyone whose sensory limits are being exceeded who are approaching a meltdown reaction. How do you go to a gig to enjoy yourself when other people wont let you do so in peace.

A similar type of non-autistic behaviour is couples on coach tours or cruises, or package holidays, who think it is their duty to "adopt" anyone who is single, that they think needs to join in the fun.

It's an NT world out there full of folly, lack of consideration for others feelings (who says we lack empathy?!), and rudeness abounds. Just its done in an NT way.......that makes it OK......??