Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm never really sure how to start forum posts about real-life things, so I'll just say it as it comes into my mind.
As someone who's spent much of their life affected by ASD and has only been diagnosed early this year, it seems like much of my life has been dominated by it. Most notably the ways that people don't seem to want to spend time with me. From an early age in school I was always different and never fit in with everyone else. My interests were always different, I wasn't cool or trendy, I thought all of their interests were boring or stupid, and I had the massive drawback of being an American living in the U.K., and got to be bullied for exactly that. Now the last part faded eventually, but since I'm 30 and have been here since I was 6, it was always going to stop at some point.
It's gotten worse since the diagnosis, despite having spent less than a year knowing why I am the way I am. Most notably, Dad doesn't seem to understand anything about me anymore, and his complete lack of sympathy has me shut out from someone I thought I was really close to. Mum understands me fairly well and has been right with me through this, but Dad doesn't seem to want in on it.
Not having friends in real-life doesn't help much either. There's only three people on the planet apart from my parents that I have frequent contact with. I'm friends with all three of them, I've met one of them and would really like to meet the other two, but they've got their own real-life obligations like family and work. It's like I'm in a room full of people having fun with each other and I'm the only one standing solo. They're all having fun and talking with themselves but I'm shut out of everything. Making it worse is that Dad could be in the same room with me and I'll still feel all alone.
Well, that seems like more than enough for this time of night.
Welcome to the forum, there are lots of people here who have gone through the same things that you are experiencing.
My experience since diagnosis is that things can get worse before they get better. Diagnosis tends to follow a crisis and you have to deal with the mess that things had got into and then you have to accept or embrace a diagnosis of a permanent condition. I was diagnosed 18 months ago. After some initial euphoria about understanding myself I was left in a bad job and have then had to move jobs which hasn't been easy. Things are getting better though and you can make choices that make things better for you too.
ASD is often inherited and it seems that your father's lack of sympathy (maybe lack of empathy?) would indicate that this might be more likely. He may struggle to detect or express sympathy or feelings and you may struggle to break through to him - don't be hard on him though and be kind to yourself too.