for as long as i can remember, i'v had issues with being bullied. primary school, massively so in secondary school, and even now at college. but its odd. back in secondary school, i knew no one, due to moving schools for year 7, and i kept my head down and was quiet. within the first week, the classmates behaviour towards me got set in stone in low level harrasment, put downs, and as much physical stuff as they could get away with during lessons like PE. at that age i had no diagnosis, and didnt until my first year of college, and after 5 years of more or less hell, i was ready to beleive of the oft trotted out trite that 'people are different when you get to college'. no, they really arent, by the end of the first day i had been called out, degradingly, for giving an answer in class that was more detailed than is the norm for teenagers, this has persisted to the present day, even when i moved up onto the lvl 3 course from the lvl 2, there were brand new people i had never met, verbally taking the p**s on to other grounds than i was very silent. only the other day, i was on the morning college bus, not having slept much the previous night, and was led back, eyes shut, but very much awake. 3 teenage males my age i have NEVER met and hadnt spoken to even when getting on the bus started slamming windows, shouting in my ear, slapping me on the shoulder and in one case stamped on my foot, for no apparent reason, other than to judge by there conversation, that i was, in there eyes, alseep.
but enough of my whiney sob story and onto the real reason for this post. a recuring though throughout secondary school, and one that resurfaced shortly after i got my diagnosis two years ago was this; does it show? is there something about me, my speech, my mannerisms, and posture or stance, is there one single thing that lets people see me in a way that indicates me as a target for this kind of behvaiour. is it linked to aspergers and autism? has anyone else found thensevles targeted for no apparent reason by peers?
