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Doing nothing is not an option any more!

Panda

I've never really had much experience of relationships, and now I've met somone I really want to get to know better I can't carry on like this. It's likely going to be a complete disaster, but I'm already regretting doing nothing. 

I've known this person for over a year now, and waiting is not helping me - every time I see her I want to say something - anything - but never can, and always end up looking out of place, which isn't helped by the fact that she's shy and quiet as well. How is this going to work? Just doing nothing means I'm probably going to regret this for a very long time. :-( 

Any advice welcome. 

Parents

  • I couldn't claim it as advice, but I can offer my... Method, I suppose, on similar situations. Maybe you could work it to suit...?

    More than anything, though, I feel your pain! It's so incredibly frustrating to feel that barrier there when you want to speak but just... Can't.

    I've realised now that whenever I want to speak to someone, or need to, I work a lot of it out in my head beforehand and enter into the conversation trying to keep control of it. In a way, I map out the route of the conversation - "I will ask them this, then I will say that, then I will ask them that..."

    This can be risky if they throw you off-track with a curveball or question, but by now I suppose I have a larger library of stock responses/behaviours to which I look. It also helps that most of the structure of my side of the conversation is interchangeable - for example, if I were interrupted or digressed from my path on one question, I recall another, perhaps more relevant one.

    It's very weird to both know I do this and recount it, yet do it so unconsciously out there in The Big Bad World 

    I sincerely wish you luck Panda! Let us know how it goes, whatever you do. Could you perhaps ask any NT friends or family what might be a good way to approach? Could they help with practical advice?
     

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  • I couldn't claim it as advice, but I can offer my... Method, I suppose, on similar situations. Maybe you could work it to suit...?

    More than anything, though, I feel your pain! It's so incredibly frustrating to feel that barrier there when you want to speak but just... Can't.

    I've realised now that whenever I want to speak to someone, or need to, I work a lot of it out in my head beforehand and enter into the conversation trying to keep control of it. In a way, I map out the route of the conversation - "I will ask them this, then I will say that, then I will ask them that..."

    This can be risky if they throw you off-track with a curveball or question, but by now I suppose I have a larger library of stock responses/behaviours to which I look. It also helps that most of the structure of my side of the conversation is interchangeable - for example, if I were interrupted or digressed from my path on one question, I recall another, perhaps more relevant one.

    It's very weird to both know I do this and recount it, yet do it so unconsciously out there in The Big Bad World 

    I sincerely wish you luck Panda! Let us know how it goes, whatever you do. Could you perhaps ask any NT friends or family what might be a good way to approach? Could they help with practical advice?
     

Children
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