Husband with aspergers

Hi Sophie. I'm an AS person, so I hope you'll be able to take what I have to say. I klnow the spirit it's intended in doesn't always come across that way.

May I say that I sympathise with your situation. I'm certain that in your shoes, I'd be completely overwhelmed - so many mixed feelings and desires and obstacles to overcome. It's far too much for this AS person to even contemplate, but I recognise what it must mean for you both.

Your question about a refusal to seek diagnosis is not the first, I've seen other partners say the same. I don't recall it ever being a male about a female, It seems to me that it's always the other way round, but I stand to be corrected, of course.

Others will say this too - late diagnosis is a hugely beneficial start. I, like everyone else, have suffered difficulties all of my life because of not knowing who I am. Diagnosis has been a massive help to me and I encourage others to seek one too. I think it can be just as valuable to find out you're not on the spectrum. The move for diagnosis is gathering momentum, and it seems that the medical profession is wising up to it at last. Whilst we still have many issues surrounding diagnosis, we note that it does seem to be getting easier to get a referal for assessment from GPs - though some still appear to be dismissive of the subject.

Male pride ('there's nothng the matter with me') is a biggy, and usually stems from the public perception that being AS is 'unfortunate' for us 'poor people'. Actually, we're simply different, and I can tell you emphatically that finding out you're different, the hows and whys of it, and finding this community of other different people, can be the most freeing experience. If your partner is AS, there's plenty to look forward to, and some burden to get rid of. There's nothing the matter with any of us - it's the rest of humanity that's the real problem! Strange, illogical creatures...

AS people are amongst the most talented in the world, but we can only be reasonably functional where all factors are known. Maths and electronics always follow a set of rules, and provided everything around us is following the 'rules', we're OK. We like order and familiarity, so by definition, new situations are fraught with all sorts of dangers to us, and always create their own overloads. Sometimes we cope (especially we older people) and sometimes we don't. There are too many factors to discuss here - it's a subject in its' own right.

I don't want to continue, but there's so much I'd like to say to you. Hopefuly, others will come along and say it for me. Ask your husband for me if he would please come and read this. If he pooh-poohs the idea after reading this, he's probably AS. There's nothing to be afraid of, and everything to gain from a diagnosis. I can't explain it, except to say that suddenly, it all makes sense!

I wish you luck, love and happiness

Hi Sophie. I'm an AS person, so I hope you'll be able to take what I have to say. I klnow the spirit it's intended in doesn't always come across that way.

May I say that I sympathise with your situation. I'm certain that in your shoes, I'd be completely overwhelmed - so many mixed feelings and desires and obstacles to overcome. It's far too much for this AS person to even contemplate, but I recognise what it must mean for you both.

Your question about a refusal to seek diagnosis is not the first, I've seen other partners say the same. I don't recall it ever being a male about a female, It seems to me that it's always the other way round, but I stand to be corrected, of course.

Others will say this too - late diagnosis is a hugely beneficial start. I, like everyone else, have suffered difficulties all of my life because of not knowing who I am. Diagnosis has been a massive help to me and I encourage others to seek one too. I think it can be just as valuable to find out you're not on the spectrum. The move for diagnosis is gathering momentum, and it seems that the medical profession is wising up to it at last. Whilst we still have many issues surrounding diagnosis, we note that it does seem to be getting easier to get a referal for assessment from GPs - though some still appear to be dismissive of the subject.

Male pride ('there's nothng the matter with me') is a biggy, and usually stems from the public perception that being AS is 'unfortunate' for us 'poor people'. Actually, we're simply different, and I can tell you emphatically that finding out you're different, the hows and whys of it, and finding this community of other different people, can be the most freeing experience. If your partner is AS, there's plenty to look forward to, and some burden to get rid of. There's nothing the matter with any of us - it's the rest of humanity that's the real problem! Strange, illogical creatures...

AS people are amongst the most talented in the world, but we can only be reasonably functional where all factors are known. Maths and electronics always follow a set of rules, and provided everything around us is following the 'rules', we're OK. We like order and familiarity, so by definition, new situations are fraught with all sorts of dangers to us, and always create their own overloads. Sometimes we cope (especially we older people) and sometimes we don't. There are too many factors to discuss here - it's a subject in its' own right.

I don't want to continue, but there's so much I'd like to say to you. Hopefuly, others will come along and say it for me. Ask your husband for me if he would please come and read this. If he pooh-poohs the idea after reading this, he's probably AS. There's nothing to be afraid of, and everything to gain from a diagnosis. I can't explain it, except to say that suddenly, it all makes sense!

I wish you luck, love and happiness