Friendship Issues

Hello everyone,

Sorry that I'm putting up yet another 'problem thread' but there is an issue I wanted to throw out there and see what people think. Basically there's this person who I've been 'friends' with for about the last year or so at uni. I was often on my own at uni and this person was one of the few who approached me and started a conversation. Things have been fine up until recently, when they seemed to become quite distant towards me. I emailed them about this and they said everything was fine, they still considered me a friend, and that they were just pre-occupied with uni stuff. This put my mind at ease but the next time I saw them in person they blanked me. I tried talking to them yesterday by going straight up to them and initiating a conversation (quite rare for someone like me with AS), but they didnt seem very willing to talk. They were quite abrupt with their answers and seemed annoyed. Also, their body language seemed to indicate that they were uncomfortable and annoyed at the fact I wanted to walk and talk with them (this might just be paranoia but my instinct says something is up). Now I'm sad and wondering what is going on. I'm getting mixed signals here and there's a lot of inconsistency.

What do people think? Is it worth the effort to keep talking to this person? Have I been used this whole time? Does anyone with AS have similar experiences?
Parents
  • Hi Wash620

    I think its really dificult to comment on this without knowing more about the dynamics of the situation.  Do you have access to a student counselling service at Uni?  There might be someone there who could help you think through what might be going on and discuss strategies - whether to try gently to approach your friend again, whether to write the friend another email explaining that you are worried about what seems like a change in your friendship, whether to let your friend know you have AS (if they dont already know) - as that might at least help your friend to understand why the change is making you anxious.  I think it would make anyone anxious autism or not, but I guess its more confusing for a person with autism.

    I have been in situations like that before and sometimes what is getting in the way might be something that is going on for the other person.

    It might help if you can seek out a student counsellor to help you think through what to do.

    Hope it works out for you

    Zoe

Reply
  • Hi Wash620

    I think its really dificult to comment on this without knowing more about the dynamics of the situation.  Do you have access to a student counselling service at Uni?  There might be someone there who could help you think through what might be going on and discuss strategies - whether to try gently to approach your friend again, whether to write the friend another email explaining that you are worried about what seems like a change in your friendship, whether to let your friend know you have AS (if they dont already know) - as that might at least help your friend to understand why the change is making you anxious.  I think it would make anyone anxious autism or not, but I guess its more confusing for a person with autism.

    I have been in situations like that before and sometimes what is getting in the way might be something that is going on for the other person.

    It might help if you can seek out a student counsellor to help you think through what to do.

    Hope it works out for you

    Zoe

Children
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