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Speaking to someone new

random

Hi,

Had an evening out in London to see a music event, I rarely go out may be 2,3 times a year, and have only been doing that for past 2-3 years.

Had a big problem with seating arrangement, discussed it over the phone when I booked my ticked and just was not what I expected when I turned up; I could not see anything of the musician I wanted to see play. 

I tried to enjoy the gig anyway, and afterwards there was a nice reception with drinks and can talk to musicians.

I have really wanted to talk to the musician, and hang around afterwards. Trying to get to speak to him, but get so wound up, and don't want to interupt when others are speaking, so patiently wait 20-30 minutes. The brief spells he seemed to be free, he was talking closely with his partner, and again I didn't want to interupt their personal time together.

Felt really bad, I wanted to talk about musical ideas I had in past which were inline with ideas and work he had done at a couple of previous concerts.

I just so annoyed with myself and would like to be a bit more forward. When I left the event, I bumped in to him and his partner, he was having a smoking break. I should have introduced myself there, but just couldnt push myself to do it and felt really bad.

It would have meant so much to me to have a brief conversation with him.

Just venting my frustration, I have been recently diagnosed with Aspergers

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  • Hi Random,

    What an interesting thread, I'm glad you posted again or I might never have seen it.

    I happy for you that you managed to speak to the musicians - I know just how hard that can be to do.  I like to attend smallish gigs too, very often where the musicians mix with the crowd before and after their set, and find that same problem of (a) struggling to find an opening where I might speak, and (b) knowing what the heck to say when I do.  I feel like I often come across like a little kid.   "I really enjoyed that...", and then unable to elaborate on why their music means so much to me - even though I might be able to talk for an hour to a friend about the same music.  Who knows, maybe they are flattered because I seem so "star struck"!

    I can appreciate it from the other side too.  The picture that RecombinantSocks paints of the socially awkward, introverted artist is very much a portrait of me when I used to play in bands.  I found that when people approached me after a gig, no matter how enthusiastic they were, I could find little to say other than a timid "thanks".  I actually gave up performing live, and left one band before a short tour of Europe, because I couldn't handle the social side of performing.  Being expected to attend after gig parties several nights on the trot was more that I could cope with, and left me too drained to give a good performance at the gigs that followed.

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  • Hi Random,

    What an interesting thread, I'm glad you posted again or I might never have seen it.

    I happy for you that you managed to speak to the musicians - I know just how hard that can be to do.  I like to attend smallish gigs too, very often where the musicians mix with the crowd before and after their set, and find that same problem of (a) struggling to find an opening where I might speak, and (b) knowing what the heck to say when I do.  I feel like I often come across like a little kid.   "I really enjoyed that...", and then unable to elaborate on why their music means so much to me - even though I might be able to talk for an hour to a friend about the same music.  Who knows, maybe they are flattered because I seem so "star struck"!

    I can appreciate it from the other side too.  The picture that RecombinantSocks paints of the socially awkward, introverted artist is very much a portrait of me when I used to play in bands.  I found that when people approached me after a gig, no matter how enthusiastic they were, I could find little to say other than a timid "thanks".  I actually gave up performing live, and left one band before a short tour of Europe, because I couldn't handle the social side of performing.  Being expected to attend after gig parties several nights on the trot was more that I could cope with, and left me too drained to give a good performance at the gigs that followed.

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