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random

Hi,

Had an evening out in London to see a music event, I rarely go out may be 2,3 times a year, and have only been doing that for past 2-3 years.

Had a big problem with seating arrangement, discussed it over the phone when I booked my ticked and just was not what I expected when I turned up; I could not see anything of the musician I wanted to see play. 

I tried to enjoy the gig anyway, and afterwards there was a nice reception with drinks and can talk to musicians.

I have really wanted to talk to the musician, and hang around afterwards. Trying to get to speak to him, but get so wound up, and don't want to interupt when others are speaking, so patiently wait 20-30 minutes. The brief spells he seemed to be free, he was talking closely with his partner, and again I didn't want to interupt their personal time together.

Felt really bad, I wanted to talk about musical ideas I had in past which were inline with ideas and work he had done at a couple of previous concerts.

I just so annoyed with myself and would like to be a bit more forward. When I left the event, I bumped in to him and his partner, he was having a smoking break. I should have introduced myself there, but just couldnt push myself to do it and felt really bad.

It would have meant so much to me to have a brief conversation with him.

Just venting my frustration, I have been recently diagnosed with Aspergers

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    random said:

    the musicians were expected to be open.

    But isn't that, almost by defintiion, an NT expectation? I don't know about you but I regularly fail to meet NT expectations.

    A picture begins to emerge of the artist, awkward, shy and anxious, smoking during the intervals to calm his nerves and unable to bring himself to speak to his fans due to poor social confidence. An expert in his field through hours of practice in his narrow field of special interest. Perhaps he hopes to be judged on his skill as a musician rather than on his social finesse? His fans, who are not unsympathetic to his plight, if only they could understand it, are critical through their inability to see into the private world of the musician. He is unable to explain to his managers, due to his communication problems, that their reasonable expectations are actually unachievable by him. A cycle of criticism and disappointment, unmet promises ensues to the point where his talent, i.e. his music, suffers. He attends the social occasions on condition that his partner attends too. The partner cajoles and encourages but is frustrated by the lack of success that the musician enjoys.

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  • Former Member
    Former Member

    random said:

    the musicians were expected to be open.

    But isn't that, almost by defintiion, an NT expectation? I don't know about you but I regularly fail to meet NT expectations.

    A picture begins to emerge of the artist, awkward, shy and anxious, smoking during the intervals to calm his nerves and unable to bring himself to speak to his fans due to poor social confidence. An expert in his field through hours of practice in his narrow field of special interest. Perhaps he hopes to be judged on his skill as a musician rather than on his social finesse? His fans, who are not unsympathetic to his plight, if only they could understand it, are critical through their inability to see into the private world of the musician. He is unable to explain to his managers, due to his communication problems, that their reasonable expectations are actually unachievable by him. A cycle of criticism and disappointment, unmet promises ensues to the point where his talent, i.e. his music, suffers. He attends the social occasions on condition that his partner attends too. The partner cajoles and encourages but is frustrated by the lack of success that the musician enjoys.

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