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Speaking to someone new

random

Hi,

Had an evening out in London to see a music event, I rarely go out may be 2,3 times a year, and have only been doing that for past 2-3 years.

Had a big problem with seating arrangement, discussed it over the phone when I booked my ticked and just was not what I expected when I turned up; I could not see anything of the musician I wanted to see play. 

I tried to enjoy the gig anyway, and afterwards there was a nice reception with drinks and can talk to musicians.

I have really wanted to talk to the musician, and hang around afterwards. Trying to get to speak to him, but get so wound up, and don't want to interupt when others are speaking, so patiently wait 20-30 minutes. The brief spells he seemed to be free, he was talking closely with his partner, and again I didn't want to interupt their personal time together.

Felt really bad, I wanted to talk about musical ideas I had in past which were inline with ideas and work he had done at a couple of previous concerts.

I just so annoyed with myself and would like to be a bit more forward. When I left the event, I bumped in to him and his partner, he was having a smoking break. I should have introduced myself there, but just couldnt push myself to do it and felt really bad.

It would have meant so much to me to have a brief conversation with him.

Just venting my frustration, I have been recently diagnosed with Aspergers

Parents

  • Oh how I identify with you! The thought of speaking with someone gives me huge anxieties, and in my working life I've had to talk with some very 'powerful' people.

    Colleagues, especially 'junior' ones, have often said that I give off waves of 'dangerous animal, do not approach' and I've no idea why. Asking has never elicited an understandable response, 'it's your expression' doesn't tell me anything, of course. I've tried, with limited success, to explain that when I'm absorbed I don't welcome interruption, and maybe my expression reflects the concentration I have to use to do so.

    As I can't read such signals as expression and body language, I accept that it's an issue but have no idea what it means or what to do about it. I've tried wearing a 'mask' by practising what I thought, by observation, to be an 'open' expression (basicaly anything but my normal one) in front of a mirror, but I just looked to me like some sort of gurning idiot so abandoned that as a possibility.

    It's terribly frustrating to want to talk to someone but at the same time suffer the excrutiating innability to know how to do it. I know what I want to say but it never comes out right, I never know when the appropriate moment to interject has arrived, and I can't sustain a conversation anyway so 'dry up' pretty quickly and then it just becomes awkward. Knowing that this is going to be the case makes me twice as shy, so often I'm left in the same agony of indecision. My frustration is knowing that it'll happen, and still being unable to get past it.

    I rely on communicating in writing, so I wonder of there's any possibility that you can contact them the same way, explain yourself, and maybe 'create' an opportunity to speak with them?

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  • Oh how I identify with you! The thought of speaking with someone gives me huge anxieties, and in my working life I've had to talk with some very 'powerful' people.

    Colleagues, especially 'junior' ones, have often said that I give off waves of 'dangerous animal, do not approach' and I've no idea why. Asking has never elicited an understandable response, 'it's your expression' doesn't tell me anything, of course. I've tried, with limited success, to explain that when I'm absorbed I don't welcome interruption, and maybe my expression reflects the concentration I have to use to do so.

    As I can't read such signals as expression and body language, I accept that it's an issue but have no idea what it means or what to do about it. I've tried wearing a 'mask' by practising what I thought, by observation, to be an 'open' expression (basicaly anything but my normal one) in front of a mirror, but I just looked to me like some sort of gurning idiot so abandoned that as a possibility.

    It's terribly frustrating to want to talk to someone but at the same time suffer the excrutiating innability to know how to do it. I know what I want to say but it never comes out right, I never know when the appropriate moment to interject has arrived, and I can't sustain a conversation anyway so 'dry up' pretty quickly and then it just becomes awkward. Knowing that this is going to be the case makes me twice as shy, so often I'm left in the same agony of indecision. My frustration is knowing that it'll happen, and still being unable to get past it.

    I rely on communicating in writing, so I wonder of there's any possibility that you can contact them the same way, explain yourself, and maybe 'create' an opportunity to speak with them?

Children
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