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Work Social Events

Aspidancer1986

I'll try and keep this short and sweet..

So.. work have recently ran a small incentive for my team and turns out, our reward is to go for food for the last couple of hours in our working day. Attendance is mandatory. 

Being autistic, for me this is more of a punishment than a reward.. as I have always felt uncomfortable at social events (unless I've had a couple of drinks and even then i just want to go home as I don't really have anything in common with my colleagues).  I also don't like eating in front of other people. But, if I don't go, I'm being "negative" and if I go quiet while im there I'm also being "negative" and antisocial..

In addition, I already work 20 miles from home and they've planned the meal even further away from home, so I'm literally driving somewhere and paying for something that I'm not even going to enjoy in the slightest. 

I'm absolutely DREADING going to this.. It's that bad I'd even rather stay at work and keep an eye on the fort while everyone else is out. 

Also, our shifts are being changed to an early shift (when I work permanent lates for personal reasons) which I've not had any say in, and the whole situation is quite honestly bumming me out..

Any tips on how I can get through this or at least try and get someone to understand my point of view without them thinking I'm using "Autism as an excuse again" (yep, I know that's being said behind my back at our place - another reason why I don't particularly want to socialise with any of them given that it's all very two faced, which just isn't me!)

Parents

  • Sounds horrific. Enforced Socialisation. Loathsome. I completely understand how you feel about it, had a similar reaction myself to many work dinners, barbecues, parties and conferences. I missed more than I attended. But looking back I remember more good things about the ones I went to than bad, well mostly. And I definitely noticed it was easier to pass with the team after as I'd witnessed their revelry and so was able to participate in the inevitable inane conversations about it after. I wasn't 'out' there though, nor diagnosed, they just kind of accepted that I was a bit odd (and the bowel condition took care of the rest).

    wishing you all the best, whatever you decide to do. I think you should do what feels right to you, by way of being kind to yourself. 

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  • Sounds horrific. Enforced Socialisation. Loathsome. I completely understand how you feel about it, had a similar reaction myself to many work dinners, barbecues, parties and conferences. I missed more than I attended. But looking back I remember more good things about the ones I went to than bad, well mostly. And I definitely noticed it was easier to pass with the team after as I'd witnessed their revelry and so was able to participate in the inevitable inane conversations about it after. I wasn't 'out' there though, nor diagnosed, they just kind of accepted that I was a bit odd (and the bowel condition took care of the rest).

    wishing you all the best, whatever you decide to do. I think you should do what feels right to you, by way of being kind to yourself. 

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