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Work Social Events

Aspidancer1986

I'll try and keep this short and sweet..

So.. work have recently ran a small incentive for my team and turns out, our reward is to go for food for the last couple of hours in our working day. Attendance is mandatory. 

Being autistic, for me this is more of a punishment than a reward.. as I have always felt uncomfortable at social events (unless I've had a couple of drinks and even then i just want to go home as I don't really have anything in common with my colleagues).  I also don't like eating in front of other people. But, if I don't go, I'm being "negative" and if I go quiet while im there I'm also being "negative" and antisocial..

In addition, I already work 20 miles from home and they've planned the meal even further away from home, so I'm literally driving somewhere and paying for something that I'm not even going to enjoy in the slightest. 

I'm absolutely DREADING going to this.. It's that bad I'd even rather stay at work and keep an eye on the fort while everyone else is out. 

Also, our shifts are being changed to an early shift (when I work permanent lates for personal reasons) which I've not had any say in, and the whole situation is quite honestly bumming me out..

Any tips on how I can get through this or at least try and get someone to understand my point of view without them thinking I'm using "Autism as an excuse again" (yep, I know that's being said behind my back at our place - another reason why I don't particularly want to socialise with any of them given that it's all very two faced, which just isn't me!)

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  • Thanks for the supportive words caretwo..

     

    I think the problem people are having is that I'm only recently diagnosed as Autistic.. I've had difficulties all my life obviously but I've just put it down to me being odd and socially anxious in general when actually there is a reason. So they want to know why I could apparently quite happily do these things before and now all of a sudden since my diagnosis I've started to show resistance.


    Because I didn't know I was autistic before I've always forced myself to attend such social activities because I wanted to fit in.. but following these types of events what I used to hide from everyone was how exhausted I felt afterwards, and it actualy made me feel quite ill. However now I know that I genuinely have a reason behind the way that I feel, I feel as though I have a right to express how I feel about such things be supported in that..

     

    The way things are seen here it's a reason to give me objectives to push myself outside of  my comfort zone to continue to "fit in" and it kind of makes me feel as though I have to pretend that my condition isn't there - which is what they don't realise I've always done before and had a detrimental impact on my mental wellbeing because it made me feel rough.

     

    Sorry I'm waffling.. I do that..

     

    Is it so wrong of me to feel that I come to work to WORK.. not to socialise? My social skills when it comes to business related topics are actually very good, because I have a role to play and thats my job. I can fit into that character very well.  I don't however have any interest in personally socialising with these people though because for me, thats where I want to divide my work and my personal life because I don't actually want them to know me personally, it feels like an invasion of my space if that makes sense? 

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  • Thanks for the supportive words caretwo..

     

    I think the problem people are having is that I'm only recently diagnosed as Autistic.. I've had difficulties all my life obviously but I've just put it down to me being odd and socially anxious in general when actually there is a reason. So they want to know why I could apparently quite happily do these things before and now all of a sudden since my diagnosis I've started to show resistance.


    Because I didn't know I was autistic before I've always forced myself to attend such social activities because I wanted to fit in.. but following these types of events what I used to hide from everyone was how exhausted I felt afterwards, and it actualy made me feel quite ill. However now I know that I genuinely have a reason behind the way that I feel, I feel as though I have a right to express how I feel about such things be supported in that..

     

    The way things are seen here it's a reason to give me objectives to push myself outside of  my comfort zone to continue to "fit in" and it kind of makes me feel as though I have to pretend that my condition isn't there - which is what they don't realise I've always done before and had a detrimental impact on my mental wellbeing because it made me feel rough.

     

    Sorry I'm waffling.. I do that..

     

    Is it so wrong of me to feel that I come to work to WORK.. not to socialise? My social skills when it comes to business related topics are actually very good, because I have a role to play and thats my job. I can fit into that character very well.  I don't however have any interest in personally socialising with these people though because for me, thats where I want to divide my work and my personal life because I don't actually want them to know me personally, it feels like an invasion of my space if that makes sense? 

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