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Mr Angry!

xoanon
over 9 years ago

So, as of Tuesday it seems I don't have what I thought I had (chronic depression and severe social anxiety disorder) for however long. Instead I have Aspergers.

I understand that this will supposedly make a difference to things but I don't understand why. I know I need to 'adapt' to the idea that I have something different and it will take time. 

I'm no more or less vulnerable, struggling, stressed and numerous other things than I was Monday. I'm still indoors, on my own, daren't open curtains or windows and afraid of people as I was Monday.

Instead I just feel angry, more than angry even.
Angry that I can't find anything which helps me. I'm not a parent, don't have a carer, live alone and have no existing support. 99.9% of information I can find is for parents, relatives, carers, employers and everyone else just not the poor bugger who has had this dropped on him...
Very angry because I am now at sea. I have no idea what's going on, what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to talk to or where I'm supposed to go for help. I think my life has just turned upside down.
Extremely angry that just having the label is probably going to make the difference between qualifying for help and being ignored. Why should I have gone through the past few years? It's disturbing that the label of 'Autism' or 'Aspergers' seems to act like a magic wand.**
Positively livid because I feel like I've lost between 5 and 15 years because nobody realised or understood enough to suggest what was really wrong.
Incandescent rage because when I spoke to my local council, the first thing they said after I mentioned Aspergers was that meant I needed the 'Learning Disability Team'. I can't speak for anyone else but, as a former croupier with a fairly high IQ (140+) I found it a huge insult. 
***please note this is my experience. Other people may have found it very different, which is really my point. It's not about your label, its about your circumstances.
For those who want to know, I'm 43 and had no inkling of this until it was mentioned by my GP a few weeks ago. It has been a bolt from the blue.
Parents
  • over 9 years ago

    Well said Classic Codger, thank you.

    I'm in the curtains closed all day club - have been for years.

    A lot of my anger is in the past, perhaps worn it out through over use, there has been a lot.  My diagnosis was a very unrelaxed affair, but this could have been to do with my character.

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  • over 9 years ago

    Well said Classic Codger, thank you.

    I'm in the curtains closed all day club - have been for years.

    A lot of my anger is in the past, perhaps worn it out through over use, there has been a lot.  My diagnosis was a very unrelaxed affair, but this could have been to do with my character.

Children
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