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Aspergers Syndrome- Dating and establishing a relationship

wash620
over 12 years ago
Hello,

I was wondering whether the autistics among us have ever experienced any issues with liking someone romantically, and trying to get to know them, dating them, and becoming closer etc. I've recently started to develop in this area and so far it has been a pretty miserable experience. I had a 10-month crush on a girl at my uni which sadly came to nothing because she entered into a relationship of her own just recently. Throughout this time I found it very difficult not to get preoccupied with this and there was constant confusion about what the other person felt. I think this relates a great deal to how people with Aspergers have trouble reading body language and knowing how to talk to others. There were mixed signals, although not intentional I don't think, and it was both thrilling to like someone but a bit of a hell with all this confusion. Despite the fact that I should be getting over her, it is proving difficult and she still invades my thoughts regularly. This makes me feel ashamed and wonder whether I am a selfish, pathetic individual. Does anyone here with Aspergers have any similar experiences?
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  • over 12 years ago

    Hope said:

    It is even harder if you are both *** and asexual, as I am myself. The whole notion of physical contact, other than firm hugs and cuddles, does not fill me with desire. 

    What I would like is an intimate, close relationship between myself and another girl.  But as I find it very difficult to make friends and feel very nervous in unstructured social situations,

    that does make it a wee bit more complicatedSmile

    i suppose the best thing is to meet someone through someone you know and who knows what kinda relationship you want

    or a dating place who can match you up with people , its about the most structured you will get in dating i think and again they can try to fit you with people you will match with rather than meeting just random people in a bar 

    you will probably have to do a wee bit of give and take, you might not like socialisng but its the only way to meet people, and tough as it is you gotta push through it to meet them, and then you can work around how much, or little, of that you want in your life

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  • over 12 years ago

    Hope said:

    It is even harder if you are both *** and asexual, as I am myself. The whole notion of physical contact, other than firm hugs and cuddles, does not fill me with desire. 

    What I would like is an intimate, close relationship between myself and another girl.  But as I find it very difficult to make friends and feel very nervous in unstructured social situations,

    that does make it a wee bit more complicatedSmile

    i suppose the best thing is to meet someone through someone you know and who knows what kinda relationship you want

    or a dating place who can match you up with people , its about the most structured you will get in dating i think and again they can try to fit you with people you will match with rather than meeting just random people in a bar 

    you will probably have to do a wee bit of give and take, you might not like socialisng but its the only way to meet people, and tough as it is you gotta push through it to meet them, and then you can work around how much, or little, of that you want in your life

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