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Aspergers Syndrome- Dating and establishing a relationship

wash620
over 12 years ago
Hello,

I was wondering whether the autistics among us have ever experienced any issues with liking someone romantically, and trying to get to know them, dating them, and becoming closer etc. I've recently started to develop in this area and so far it has been a pretty miserable experience. I had a 10-month crush on a girl at my uni which sadly came to nothing because she entered into a relationship of her own just recently. Throughout this time I found it very difficult not to get preoccupied with this and there was constant confusion about what the other person felt. I think this relates a great deal to how people with Aspergers have trouble reading body language and knowing how to talk to others. There were mixed signals, although not intentional I don't think, and it was both thrilling to like someone but a bit of a hell with all this confusion. Despite the fact that I should be getting over her, it is proving difficult and she still invades my thoughts regularly. This makes me feel ashamed and wonder whether I am a selfish, pathetic individual. Does anyone here with Aspergers have any similar experiences?
Parents
  • over 12 years ago

    It is even harder if you are both *** and asexual, as I am myself. The whole notion of physical contact, other than firm hugs and cuddles, does not fill me with desire.  What I would like is an intimate, close relationship between myself and another girl.  But as I find it very difficult to make friends and feel very nervous in unstructured social situations, I am not too optimistic about relationships at the moment. I don't go to parties or social events. I attend a book-club, but it is made up of old people, and the Asperger's group I go to is primarily male, and I do not fancy the females who attend the group (who are already in relationships with men, anyway). I am a minority within a minority, and this makes things even harder. How do I tell without asking if someone is a ***?  To reiterate, I do not like late-night socialising in pubs - do not like pubs, am teetotal in any case; do not like discos, pointless group banter etc. So what do I do?

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  • over 12 years ago

    It is even harder if you are both *** and asexual, as I am myself. The whole notion of physical contact, other than firm hugs and cuddles, does not fill me with desire.  What I would like is an intimate, close relationship between myself and another girl.  But as I find it very difficult to make friends and feel very nervous in unstructured social situations, I am not too optimistic about relationships at the moment. I don't go to parties or social events. I attend a book-club, but it is made up of old people, and the Asperger's group I go to is primarily male, and I do not fancy the females who attend the group (who are already in relationships with men, anyway). I am a minority within a minority, and this makes things even harder. How do I tell without asking if someone is a ***?  To reiterate, I do not like late-night socialising in pubs - do not like pubs, am teetotal in any case; do not like discos, pointless group banter etc. So what do I do?

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