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Aspergers Syndrome- Dating and establishing a relationship

wash620
over 12 years ago
Hello,

I was wondering whether the autistics among us have ever experienced any issues with liking someone romantically, and trying to get to know them, dating them, and becoming closer etc. I've recently started to develop in this area and so far it has been a pretty miserable experience. I had a 10-month crush on a girl at my uni which sadly came to nothing because she entered into a relationship of her own just recently. Throughout this time I found it very difficult not to get preoccupied with this and there was constant confusion about what the other person felt. I think this relates a great deal to how people with Aspergers have trouble reading body language and knowing how to talk to others. There were mixed signals, although not intentional I don't think, and it was both thrilling to like someone but a bit of a hell with all this confusion. Despite the fact that I should be getting over her, it is proving difficult and she still invades my thoughts regularly. This makes me feel ashamed and wonder whether I am a selfish, pathetic individual. Does anyone here with Aspergers have any similar experiences?
Parents
  • over 12 years ago

    Pro tip: Find someone who is faceblind. en.wikipedia.org/.../Prosopagnosia

    I know an Aspie+faceblind couple and they're doing better than many NT couples I know. They tell each other what they want or feel, and also wait for explicit confirmation whether the other understood what they meant. Both communicate the same explicit way and agree that "guessing stuff from the face" would make no sense.

    Several NT couples I know constantly fight because have this expectation that they don't need to say what they mean, and don't need to confirm what they assume the other one meant, because it's "obvious"... Clearly, it isn't, if it were, they wouldn't be fighting about the same basic things over and over.

Reply
  • over 12 years ago

    Pro tip: Find someone who is faceblind. en.wikipedia.org/.../Prosopagnosia

    I know an Aspie+faceblind couple and they're doing better than many NT couples I know. They tell each other what they want or feel, and also wait for explicit confirmation whether the other understood what they meant. Both communicate the same explicit way and agree that "guessing stuff from the face" would make no sense.

    Several NT couples I know constantly fight because have this expectation that they don't need to say what they mean, and don't need to confirm what they assume the other one meant, because it's "obvious"... Clearly, it isn't, if it were, they wouldn't be fighting about the same basic things over and over.

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