Meltdown

Hi Flake, It sounds as though you are all having a tough time.

I would not replace broken items. Your son needs to learn that his behaviour is unacceptable. He should earn replacements with good behaviour, or earn money to buy them himself.

Teenage years are very stressful, but he needs to find a way of controlling his meltdowns and unwinding before he reaches meltdown. He may be very stressed after school and need to go somewhere quiet to unwind and relax, before embarking on anything else.

I regard my meltdowns as volcanic erruptions. I wrote myself a scale from 1 to 10 of what happens in an erruption, from smoke rising, to lava flow and final explosion. I wrote my behaviour down on a similar scale. The explosion is me screaming, shouting and maybe throwing things. I worked backwards, through nasty remarks and banging things around, to the very beginnings of rising tension and irritation. Now, I know when to walk away and find a dark quiet place in which I can calm down. I then try to quietly work out what the problem is and then talk to the person who has wound me up, if that is feasible, or find a strategy for dealing with problems.

If you can get your son to wind down, you may be able to get him to tell you what is winding him up, and hopefully find a strategy for coping.

It is immensley difficult, at times, but if you just replace what he breaks, then there are no consequences of his destructive behaviour.

Perhaps he could work off this pent up rage by going for a run, then quietly unwinding with a shower and some music. He may not be able to contribute much to the household chores etc for a while.

Best wishes, I hope you find a way through this difficult patch.

Hi Flake, It sounds as though you are all having a tough time.

I would not replace broken items. Your son needs to learn that his behaviour is unacceptable. He should earn replacements with good behaviour, or earn money to buy them himself.

Teenage years are very stressful, but he needs to find a way of controlling his meltdowns and unwinding before he reaches meltdown. He may be very stressed after school and need to go somewhere quiet to unwind and relax, before embarking on anything else.

I regard my meltdowns as volcanic erruptions. I wrote myself a scale from 1 to 10 of what happens in an erruption, from smoke rising, to lava flow and final explosion. I wrote my behaviour down on a similar scale. The explosion is me screaming, shouting and maybe throwing things. I worked backwards, through nasty remarks and banging things around, to the very beginnings of rising tension and irritation. Now, I know when to walk away and find a dark quiet place in which I can calm down. I then try to quietly work out what the problem is and then talk to the person who has wound me up, if that is feasible, or find a strategy for dealing with problems.

If you can get your son to wind down, you may be able to get him to tell you what is winding him up, and hopefully find a strategy for coping.

It is immensley difficult, at times, but if you just replace what he breaks, then there are no consequences of his destructive behaviour.

Perhaps he could work off this pent up rage by going for a run, then quietly unwinding with a shower and some music. He may not be able to contribute much to the household chores etc for a while.

Best wishes, I hope you find a way through this difficult patch.