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overthinking

asparagus

Hello

I call it this because once I heard it on TV a very long time ago and it sounded as though it something I do actually do and when Apserger's was mooted to me a few year ago and was diagnosed last year with Autism. This is one of the areas where I say to someone I trust I hate autism. 

Tell me something serious, I blink but take it well. Tell me off, quite properly, for something so small I can overthink it. About a month ago I realised the change from knowing it autism to how would have handled it in the past. In the past, if that person had told me off, I would have possibly walked out on her, gone home and not shown up for a few weeks and chuntered to it for myself lasting for about six weeks. This incident I was able to go and seek help elsewhere and a gentle chat about it that moved into relatively normal conversation and went home okay about it as such.

This weekend I had a really good conversation with someone on Friday. In that conversation he pointed out so calmly, I think about comments way to much. Hmm part of my overthinking. The rest of the conversation including that went well. Friday evening was okay. By Saturday though I had remembered he had said this one bit. Of which I knew because I tell 'him' I overthink, and he will know from my contact with him it something I do. So how come I managed to overthink the overthinking.  I didn't argue back or anything at the time. I just nodded because I know I do so.

The comments I end up overthinking, I don't choose them. They can be good comments and I have to go around and around wondering what they might actaully mean. Why did he say it so kind? Or it can be a negative comment in my mind and chunter about it around and around. This person is my support so at least I can offload in my way to them and did so through the whole weekend.  Good things happened in that conversation but somehow my brain not focusing on that. I nearly recovered as such.

But does anyone else have overthinking comments? Can you actually choose what you overthink. This morning he did make a very helpful suggestion in if am going to overthink then choose to think on.... but is it as easy as that?  In the email I sent I know I had done exactly what he told me I do. Take a comment and way over think it. So why I did so when I know I do so. He wasn't correcting me or anything. 

But how do you deal with overthinking.

Parents

  • It is overthinking and analysing and trying to figure out what people's words or reactions to me mean that upset me the most about being on the spectrum. Interesting about 'Social Referencing'! I wish there was more known about this or rather a solution to help this.

    I think I would have a really good life if it wasn't for this ie overthinking. It is what causes me to be depressed and what can turn me instantly from feeling upbeat and happy to feeling almost suicidal and hopeless.I don't generally suffer form OCD but my brain does when it comes to going round in a never ending circle. I can reason about something and come to a reasoned conclusion, feel content and then the first part of the circle starts again unconnected to the final bit of the circle where I've worked things out. So I have to start again with self talk until I've reasoned again and then it's back to the beginning over and over. One part of the brain seems to do the reasoning well but the other part doesn't quite get it enough to keep the worked out solution there.

    I find it hard to distract myself. The only thing that works is having more things in the chatter in my head. It's like the more new things that I have to think about which take place after the confusing event the better provided they aren't another set of confusing scenarios. So if I go for a walk and see something or hear someone say something it helps. Any little thing. What helps me the most is talking to others as then I add their words and lines of conversation onto the top of my memory which makes the confusing bit go further down the list of circular thoughts.

Reply

  • It is overthinking and analysing and trying to figure out what people's words or reactions to me mean that upset me the most about being on the spectrum. Interesting about 'Social Referencing'! I wish there was more known about this or rather a solution to help this.

    I think I would have a really good life if it wasn't for this ie overthinking. It is what causes me to be depressed and what can turn me instantly from feeling upbeat and happy to feeling almost suicidal and hopeless.I don't generally suffer form OCD but my brain does when it comes to going round in a never ending circle. I can reason about something and come to a reasoned conclusion, feel content and then the first part of the circle starts again unconnected to the final bit of the circle where I've worked things out. So I have to start again with self talk until I've reasoned again and then it's back to the beginning over and over. One part of the brain seems to do the reasoning well but the other part doesn't quite get it enough to keep the worked out solution there.

    I find it hard to distract myself. The only thing that works is having more things in the chatter in my head. It's like the more new things that I have to think about which take place after the confusing event the better provided they aren't another set of confusing scenarios. So if I go for a walk and see something or hear someone say something it helps. Any little thing. What helps me the most is talking to others as then I add their words and lines of conversation onto the top of my memory which makes the confusing bit go further down the list of circular thoughts.

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