overthinking

Hello

I call it this because once I heard it on TV a very long time ago and it sounded as though it something I do actually do and when Apserger's was mooted to me a few year ago and was diagnosed last year with Autism. This is one of the areas where I say to someone I trust I hate autism. 

Tell me something serious, I blink but take it well. Tell me off, quite properly, for something so small I can overthink it. About a month ago I realised the change from knowing it autism to how would have handled it in the past. In the past, if that person had told me off, I would have possibly walked out on her, gone home and not shown up for a few weeks and chuntered to it for myself lasting for about six weeks. This incident I was able to go and seek help elsewhere and a gentle chat about it that moved into relatively normal conversation and went home okay about it as such.

This weekend I had a really good conversation with someone on Friday. In that conversation he pointed out so calmly, I think about comments way to much. Hmm part of my overthinking. The rest of the conversation including that went well. Friday evening was okay. By Saturday though I had remembered he had said this one bit. Of which I knew because I tell 'him' I overthink, and he will know from my contact with him it something I do. So how come I managed to overthink the overthinking.  I didn't argue back or anything at the time. I just nodded because I know I do so.

The comments I end up overthinking, I don't choose them. They can be good comments and I have to go around and around wondering what they might actaully mean. Why did he say it so kind? Or it can be a negative comment in my mind and chunter about it around and around. This person is my support so at least I can offload in my way to them and did so through the whole weekend.  Good things happened in that conversation but somehow my brain not focusing on that. I nearly recovered as such.

But does anyone else have overthinking comments? Can you actually choose what you overthink. This morning he did make a very helpful suggestion in if am going to overthink then choose to think on.... but is it as easy as that?  In the email I sent I know I had done exactly what he told me I do. Take a comment and way over think it. So why I did so when I know I do so. He wasn't correcting me or anything. 

But how do you deal with overthinking.

Parents
  • Hello Marjorie

    I am not a new church member in that I have been going since I was 15 and now about to be 47. I altar serve. This priest is not a priest of our congregation but knows enough of our history because he has been in the town for long enough. I was struggling earlier on this year late last year and very nearly left ours to that church. I been more than welcomed and go to their weekday service and been welcomed in.  That has been good and I did not actually swap. I been able to talk openly with him and he wise enough and through our discussions I have learned that I am part of the family, the Christian family and in essence I can see now that I am treated just like everyone else there in that church. Ticked off when something is wrong and praised when something is good. Everyone talks to me and I am included. I have managed to settle the yearning desire to swap churches by have the other church as my part time church in my head. I am me there. I can turn up there needing that safe place to be at times. My actual church we are in interregnum yet again. It nothing new. We are more used to not having a priest in residence. Only the last priest manage to 'see' me and met me how I need to where as I wouldn't let the others near enough I guess. So it was doubly hard and thus needed to find another church and this was two fold in close to the busstation and the displayed telephone number is a mobile. I hate phones but will text/email. I can text this priest and email. 'And through his help and inclusion into things at the pt time church as I call it, I can see even if I did manage to swap churches I would feel just the same in myself. For I wouldn't be leaving me behind. I would come too. Yes he been helping me on a number of levels. Autism and spiritual and having had the biggest help ever since corpus christie.  I do over anaylise things. I do need to share with someone who isn't going to try and solve every situation as things would get very misunderstood as I know when things are good, sometimes the situation doesn't even exist. I have just blown it way beyond as he says. He is helping trying to improve situations He can. It is good to know that whilst I can't necessarily stop overthinking, I can control it is the best word perhaps. I dont think am always seeking answers with it. Just the inability to let go and move forward.  We had the archdeacon with us this morning because we are in interregnum. I was down for first reading. I did the first reading. It went well. But at end I completely forgot our usual response of 'this is the word of the Lord'. It not in the current book. I just completely forgot it and sort of said so when I realised I wasn't saying that. I went to sit back on the altar (serving) and he did the best thing going. He was grinning at me laughing with me. That will help enourmously. I usually forget the end and sometimes they have an amen or something but this week I surpassed myself really. I am not worried now because he was laughing making sure I was laughing too. The congregation as a whole known me since mid teens. Yes I know Christianity is based on Love and that Love seems more critical of each other than if we didn't know each other. It can be misunderstood and I for one do very much misunderstand it. I take it literally as such rather than seeing it - it because we love each other enough we can say the things that a stranger wouldn't understand. But for me, autism does really get in the way. I know in my heart and head it is love but I turn it around and around and around and hear the noise with the words and goes very much against. That is a very long post am sorry.

Reply
  • Hello Marjorie

    I am not a new church member in that I have been going since I was 15 and now about to be 47. I altar serve. This priest is not a priest of our congregation but knows enough of our history because he has been in the town for long enough. I was struggling earlier on this year late last year and very nearly left ours to that church. I been more than welcomed and go to their weekday service and been welcomed in.  That has been good and I did not actually swap. I been able to talk openly with him and he wise enough and through our discussions I have learned that I am part of the family, the Christian family and in essence I can see now that I am treated just like everyone else there in that church. Ticked off when something is wrong and praised when something is good. Everyone talks to me and I am included. I have managed to settle the yearning desire to swap churches by have the other church as my part time church in my head. I am me there. I can turn up there needing that safe place to be at times. My actual church we are in interregnum yet again. It nothing new. We are more used to not having a priest in residence. Only the last priest manage to 'see' me and met me how I need to where as I wouldn't let the others near enough I guess. So it was doubly hard and thus needed to find another church and this was two fold in close to the busstation and the displayed telephone number is a mobile. I hate phones but will text/email. I can text this priest and email. 'And through his help and inclusion into things at the pt time church as I call it, I can see even if I did manage to swap churches I would feel just the same in myself. For I wouldn't be leaving me behind. I would come too. Yes he been helping me on a number of levels. Autism and spiritual and having had the biggest help ever since corpus christie.  I do over anaylise things. I do need to share with someone who isn't going to try and solve every situation as things would get very misunderstood as I know when things are good, sometimes the situation doesn't even exist. I have just blown it way beyond as he says. He is helping trying to improve situations He can. It is good to know that whilst I can't necessarily stop overthinking, I can control it is the best word perhaps. I dont think am always seeking answers with it. Just the inability to let go and move forward.  We had the archdeacon with us this morning because we are in interregnum. I was down for first reading. I did the first reading. It went well. But at end I completely forgot our usual response of 'this is the word of the Lord'. It not in the current book. I just completely forgot it and sort of said so when I realised I wasn't saying that. I went to sit back on the altar (serving) and he did the best thing going. He was grinning at me laughing with me. That will help enourmously. I usually forget the end and sometimes they have an amen or something but this week I surpassed myself really. I am not worried now because he was laughing making sure I was laughing too. The congregation as a whole known me since mid teens. Yes I know Christianity is based on Love and that Love seems more critical of each other than if we didn't know each other. It can be misunderstood and I for one do very much misunderstand it. I take it literally as such rather than seeing it - it because we love each other enough we can say the things that a stranger wouldn't understand. But for me, autism does really get in the way. I know in my heart and head it is love but I turn it around and around and around and hear the noise with the words and goes very much against. That is a very long post am sorry.

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