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overthinking

asparagus

Hello

I call it this because once I heard it on TV a very long time ago and it sounded as though it something I do actually do and when Apserger's was mooted to me a few year ago and was diagnosed last year with Autism. This is one of the areas where I say to someone I trust I hate autism. 

Tell me something serious, I blink but take it well. Tell me off, quite properly, for something so small I can overthink it. About a month ago I realised the change from knowing it autism to how would have handled it in the past. In the past, if that person had told me off, I would have possibly walked out on her, gone home and not shown up for a few weeks and chuntered to it for myself lasting for about six weeks. This incident I was able to go and seek help elsewhere and a gentle chat about it that moved into relatively normal conversation and went home okay about it as such.

This weekend I had a really good conversation with someone on Friday. In that conversation he pointed out so calmly, I think about comments way to much. Hmm part of my overthinking. The rest of the conversation including that went well. Friday evening was okay. By Saturday though I had remembered he had said this one bit. Of which I knew because I tell 'him' I overthink, and he will know from my contact with him it something I do. So how come I managed to overthink the overthinking.  I didn't argue back or anything at the time. I just nodded because I know I do so.

The comments I end up overthinking, I don't choose them. They can be good comments and I have to go around and around wondering what they might actaully mean. Why did he say it so kind? Or it can be a negative comment in my mind and chunter about it around and around. This person is my support so at least I can offload in my way to them and did so through the whole weekend.  Good things happened in that conversation but somehow my brain not focusing on that. I nearly recovered as such.

But does anyone else have overthinking comments? Can you actually choose what you overthink. This morning he did make a very helpful suggestion in if am going to overthink then choose to think on.... but is it as easy as that?  In the email I sent I know I had done exactly what he told me I do. Take a comment and way over think it. So why I did so when I know I do so. He wasn't correcting me or anything. 

But how do you deal with overthinking.

Parents

  • Hi Asparagus, I just want to share with you one more thing that has helped me with relationships within the Christian community.

    Christianity is based on love. We tend to assume that people are being critical, but within the church I think it is better to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are expressing kindness and love. We all say things which can be taken the wrong way, at times. If someone says something which you think may be critical, just tell yourself that they love you and would not do that.

    If you assume everything said is kind and loving, you will feel better towards them and love them back. If they were being critical, by giving them the benefit of the doubt, you are being forgiving, which is a very loving thing to do. "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us".

    Go in peace Smile

Reply

  • Hi Asparagus, I just want to share with you one more thing that has helped me with relationships within the Christian community.

    Christianity is based on love. We tend to assume that people are being critical, but within the church I think it is better to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are expressing kindness and love. We all say things which can be taken the wrong way, at times. If someone says something which you think may be critical, just tell yourself that they love you and would not do that.

    If you assume everything said is kind and loving, you will feel better towards them and love them back. If they were being critical, by giving them the benefit of the doubt, you are being forgiving, which is a very loving thing to do. "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us".

    Go in peace Smile

Children
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