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Aspergers and depression

Rocketgirl

Hi,

my son who is 24 has Aspergers. He has very low self esteem and often suffers from bouts of depression (he thinks he is worthless, that there is no point in pursuing his dreams as he will fail, that everyone is better than him, that his life is pointless....) The latest bout of depression is lasting for over a month, culminating today when he was saying all those things again and that he doesn't see a point in living any more as he is such a failure (this is a young man who is about to do a postgrad course in history, who has a great hobby in plants and is very good at it). I keep suggesting that he sees a GP to see if medication would help or counselling (or both). He refuses it point blank and says that nobody can help him. 

I don't know what to do and how to help him. I keep talking to him and trying to make him see all those great prospects and opportunities he has going forward but nothing works... We are going round in circles. 

Has anyone had similar experience or have any advice / suggestions how I can handle the situation and help my son. 

Many thanks

Parents

  • Hello, I have had bouts of depression all my life. When I finnished college, I was worn out and needed a complete break. I spent several weeks just reading in the garden, and gradually came back to life. Studying brings a certain amount of social overload, so he may just need time out to recover.

    Physical activity is very good for depression. My husband used to drag me out for a walk in the evening, after work. It lifted my mood a little and promoted sleep.

    The other issue is alexithymia, emotional blindness. He may have unresolved problems, caused by bullying or other traumatic life events, which he has pushed away rather than dealing with them. Bullying in particular, causes low self esteem, because it is so humiliating. Again he may just need time to unwind and relax and maybe any issues he has will surface and he can deal with them.

    The weather is getting better, I would recommend time pottering in the garden, with no pressures. Let him just relax, say nothing, just be kind and let him unwind at his own pace, in his own way. As a mother myself, I know how worried we get about our children, but unless he gets very worryingly depressed, then I would let him be quietly alone for a while, just keep him well fed, if he has an appetite at the moment.

    Try not to worry, he may pick up in a week or two.

Reply

  • Hello, I have had bouts of depression all my life. When I finnished college, I was worn out and needed a complete break. I spent several weeks just reading in the garden, and gradually came back to life. Studying brings a certain amount of social overload, so he may just need time out to recover.

    Physical activity is very good for depression. My husband used to drag me out for a walk in the evening, after work. It lifted my mood a little and promoted sleep.

    The other issue is alexithymia, emotional blindness. He may have unresolved problems, caused by bullying or other traumatic life events, which he has pushed away rather than dealing with them. Bullying in particular, causes low self esteem, because it is so humiliating. Again he may just need time to unwind and relax and maybe any issues he has will surface and he can deal with them.

    The weather is getting better, I would recommend time pottering in the garden, with no pressures. Let him just relax, say nothing, just be kind and let him unwind at his own pace, in his own way. As a mother myself, I know how worried we get about our children, but unless he gets very worryingly depressed, then I would let him be quietly alone for a while, just keep him well fed, if he has an appetite at the moment.

    Try not to worry, he may pick up in a week or two.

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