Feeling very far from normal right now.. Continued.....

my son was diagnosed at end of primary school, where he exhibited 'behavioural difficulties',  my son was allowed to take himself off at lunchtimes to the quiet hub and sit in the reading corner of his classroom for lessons. On the whole he coped, but secondary school was a different beast entirely.

He struggled every day, eventually in year 8 they put him into thier provision for behaviour problems, along with 6 or 7 other pupils. the provision had 2 classrooms, one used by the 6 or 7 students, the other used by my son. he had a laptop in there and would spend every day alone, with a teaching assistant popping in every now and then to hand him another worksheet to do, or some website to visit.

His statement took a year to complete, and finally he has been moved to a school which has a real provision set up for asd kids, 1:3 teachers to pupils, actual structered timetable and lessons, and the chance to access mainstream schol whenever he feels confident and ready to do so.

unfortunately, the year and half of trouble he has had at his first school has had a very negative impact on our family. my daughter is at grammar school and puts a lot of pressure on herself to out-perform her peers, also has developed eating problems. she has been seen by CAMHS and is showing improvements.

i have taken time off work due to depression, stress, all sorts. only in the last 3 weeks ive been feeling better, really since knowing that the school has been changed.

im finding it so hard to even motivate my son to do anything, he usually goes to StageCoach on a saturday, and today he flatly refused to change into the uniform and go out. i cant physically force him to get changed, he's as tall as me at 5'2" and very much stronger. he says hes scared of going outside, he has never liked the process of getting ready to go out, but normally, once we are out and stick to the plan of which shops we car park we are using/which shops we are visiting/what we need to buy (deffinately no browsing!) he is ok.

i dont know how to get him out of his rutt of hating leaving the house. even with the lure of a new school he is still struggling with leaving his bedroom in the morning. he has been physically violent towards me once before when ive forced him to get up and go to his old school, and im scared that he'll do it again.

i need some ideas. he finds comfort from playing his DS or kindl, but that keeps him in his room all day, he'll only come out to eat. normally, i dont mind, he's happy on his own, but i want him to still be in touch with other children.

thank you to anyone whos read all this! i'm just hurting and confused. my partner is a fantastic man, with endless patience, and he will listen to me talk/rant til the cows come home, but i just need some advice from people with experience in this.

xx

Parents
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you have got to the point where force is being used then you know that something is wrong. (i.e. agreeing with outraged).

    Coogy makes some good points and has been there and got the tee-shirt.

    If you are struggling to understand your son then it's possible that you or partner may have some of the issues that your children have. ASD is often inherited and, in my opinion as an aspie parent, doesn;t make parenting easy. Have you considered whether they have inherited some of the traits from yourselves? Have you tried the free test at aspergerstest.net/.../

    I am surprised that someone with ASD would want to go to theatre school voluntarily. Whose idea was it for him to go that? I would have thought that he would find that very difficult and exhausting and unpleasant given the problems of understanding the group situations and the sensory issues you might expect in such a place.

Reply
  • Former Member
    Former Member

    If you have got to the point where force is being used then you know that something is wrong. (i.e. agreeing with outraged).

    Coogy makes some good points and has been there and got the tee-shirt.

    If you are struggling to understand your son then it's possible that you or partner may have some of the issues that your children have. ASD is often inherited and, in my opinion as an aspie parent, doesn;t make parenting easy. Have you considered whether they have inherited some of the traits from yourselves? Have you tried the free test at aspergerstest.net/.../

    I am surprised that someone with ASD would want to go to theatre school voluntarily. Whose idea was it for him to go that? I would have thought that he would find that very difficult and exhausting and unpleasant given the problems of understanding the group situations and the sensory issues you might expect in such a place.

Children
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